THE REPORT CAN BE DONE

CONTENTS

• Define the Report First
• All Types of Reports Exist
• Classifications Represent Generic Headings
• Thesis and Problem Question Differ
• 9/11 Commission Defines Its Problem
• Bias Remains Pervasive in Reports
• First Paragraph Contains Basic Information
• Problem Question Cannot Give Solution
• Factoring the Problem Helps Thinking Process
• Edwards Sees Perception As Solving Problems
  
  
• Purpose Creates the Objective(s)
• Define Those Terms Carefully
• Concentrate on Subject(Scope)
• 9/11 Commission Report Defines Scope
• Delimitations Denote Coverage
  
  
• Report Doesn't Need Personality
• Toss the Mishmash of Information
• Prepare Procedures Carefully
• 9/11 Commission Works Procedures with Limited Budget
• Tipping Points Spread Like Viruses
  
  
• Considerations Cause Special Writing
• Paraphrasing Saves Expansive Writing
• Primary Data Cause Greatest Concern
• Make Frequent Reference to Attachments
• Attachments Require Their Own Title Pages
• Analysis Gives You Interpretations
• Analysis Creates the Harmony
• Reports Need Explanation
• Logical Fallacies Create Trouble
• President's Lawyer Alludes to Post Hoc
• Decision(s)Drive Home the Point
• Example Provides Setup
• Example of Previous Decisions Needs Comments
  
  
• Wording Creates Difficulty in C-A-D
• Swinging a Wide Loop in Conclusions Causes Problems
• Example Provides Setup
• Example of Previous Decisions Needs Comment
• Check Your Report Order
  
  
• Transmittal Memo Adds Nice Touch
• Characterizing Data Can Be Dangerous
• Table and Chart Cannot Speak for Themselves
• The Data May Appear Elsewhere Issue
• Place Your Opinion Somewhere Else
• Find Another Way to Say Yes or No
• Weasel Words Need to be Avoided
• Pagination Always Presents Dilemma

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  I am indebted to my former students for many of the examples that appear in this particular link.

  Define the Report First

  Report writing requires a different kind of thinking. You have to think what a report is and is not. Business communication authors often narrowly define a report as trying to solve a problem and helping decision makers. With that definition, many documents do not qualify as reports. For example, a term paper in the strictest sense is not a report. The term paper does not try to solve a problem, except the student satisfying the professor's request for completing a document within so many words and pages. The term paper does not help decision makers in a firm, only the professor determining a grade for the paper based on established criteria.

  The following documents, though, do qualify as reports:

  • prospectus
  • trip report
  • minutes (of a meeting or committee).

    Each document represents a uniqueness. The prospectus is written so that a prospective investor (decision maker) can look at the framework of a company, including its management, finances, and potential. These days the SEC (Securities and Exchange Commission) expects the prospectus and financial disclosure statements to be written in plain English to help the individual investor or company.

    When your boss asks you to go to a seminar or a trade show, you may have to write a trip report when you return. You include the dates, expenses, and gained knowledge. You want your boss (decision maker) to know you realized valuable knowledge from the trip. You expect to be compensated for your expenses, if you can justify the time and knowledge.

    Let's say you attend a meeting. A record is usually kept of those proceedings. Those records are referred to as minutes. If you cannot attend the meeting, you want to find out as a member (potential decision maker because of voting) what occurred. The minutes may be placed on e-mail or contained on hard copy. You want to know who attended, what was discussed, and what decisions were made. Minutes serve as a valuable adjunct and reminder to the proceedings.

    All Types of Reports Exist

    Our textbook author listed a number of kinds of reports. These kinds of reports represent types. These classifications of reports include situational, periodic, investigative, justification, and yardstick. Have you ever thought about how many types of reports (specific ones) exist? Our society is rampant with types of reports. Almost any kind of living may require the need for a report. For fun let's list some types of reports:

    • predefined reports
    • farm reports (crop damage and yield)
    • consumer reports (also magazine, Consumer Reports
    • weather reports
    • news reports
    • sports reports
    • insurance reports (car)
    • book reports
    • health (public) reports
    • environmental impact studies
    • grade reports
    • sales reports
    • traffic (freeway or interstate) reports
    • accident reports (individual)
    • crime reports
    • inventory reports
    • performance evaluations (employee)
    • avalanche reports
    • ski reports
    • marketing reports
    • medical (individual patient) reports
    • quarterly (stock or income) and year-end reports
    • incident (flying) reports
    • incident (injuries at work, e.g.)
    • demographics reports
    • product review
    • audit reports
    • damage (structures, also related to military, say for a ship) reports
    • FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Administration) reports
    • Foundation reports (Ford and Carnegie foundations, for examples)
    • safety reports (store)
    • credit reports
    • economic reports (Federal Budget and Economic Report of the President, e.g.)
    • tax reports
    • trail (hiking) reports
    • Coroner's report (autopsy)
    • critique (restaurant critic)
    • import/export report (tariffs, shipments, modes of transportation)
    • field (military--terrain and weather conditions, e.g.)
    • field (marketing or construction, e.g.)
    • progress reports
    • developmental reports (for starting a new TV production)
    • vehicle reports
    • accreditation reports (e.g. the Western Area Schools and Colleges Report)
    • Faculty Activity Report (for merit increases)
    • campaign report
    • sexual harassment reports
    • child abuse reports
    • domestic violence reports
    • forensic reports (e.g. serial murderers and their profile)
    • HAZMAT (hazardous materials) reports
    • immigration report
    • box office (movies) report
    • consumer behavior report (characteristics and motivations of the customer)
    • Census report (every 10 years)
    • State of the Union Message (a kind of report) delivered once a year
    • missing persons report
    • scouting (athletes)
    • yield comparison report (Treasury Bills and government-issued securities)
    • accounts receivable report (bills paid by clients, and so forth)
    • depositions
    • Nielsen rating reports (radio and TV programs)
    • OSHA (Occupational Safety and Health Administration) reports
    • disclosure (homeowner's rights)
    • disciplinary reports
    • lab reports
    • Congressional reports
    • closed accounts
    • search title (part of escrow)
    • voter turnout
    • conference (e.g. Latino Business Expo)
    • Critique (Restaurant)
    • Deposition
      
      It is not the intent of this discussion to focus on all of the previous list. Still, let's single out the predefined report. As I understand the concept, a predefined report allows you as the reader to abstract the necessary data from the computer screen and print from the Internet. For example, let's say you have data for 560 schools in a district. You want to pull out certain budget data for each school. You might want to answer the question: Does our school have enough money for textbooks, or are we over budget? This predefined report would give you answer. The school might be pleasantly surprised to discover so-called hidden monies that could be applied to textbooks. The predefined report with its many ramifications would give the District's Chief Financial Officer the tools to make informed decisions about the allocation of monies to various schools.

    Classifications of Reports Represent Generic Headings

    We split hairs in distinguishing between classifications and types of reports. Classifications represent the more generic understandings of reports. We talk about reports as informational and analytical. An informational report allows the reader to see only the Considerations or the Findings of the report. The readers draw their own conclusions or recommendations from the data. In an analytical report you present the Analysis and Decisions to the reader.
    
    Guffey, one of our authors, talks about Research and Periodic Reports. You still have to name the types under these more specific classifications. Proposals will work as a classification or a type. You could say: Proposal to Obtain Computer Contract. That is more specific; you have named a type of report in some detail. You have added a distinction to the report. I like to think of classifications as Genus from a biology class with Phylum as a more specific type. If this biological example helps to explain the difference between classification and type, use it.
    
    We talk all the time in Education about a Taxonomy of Objectives. All that means is a classification of objectives. In this class, though, you are naming specific types of reports that exist in our society. We already know they may be informational or analytical reports.
    
    As you start to prepare your analytical report memo, you need to remember the analytical report memo is divided into four parts:
    • Introduction (Problem-Purpose-Definition of Terms-Scope and Limitations-Procedures)
    • Considerations (Findings)
    • Analysis (Conclusions)
    • Decision(s)-(Recommendations)

    Thesis and Problem Question Differ

    You hear the terms, thesis and problem question or statement. A subtle difference exists between these two elements. Let's say you write in a proposal memo or a report the following: We need to create more parking lots at such-and-such university. That statement is technically a thesis or a pronouncement of what you intend to do. In the so-called three-paragraph essay development, you usually provide a thesis of some kind. In the dissertation for doctoral work I had to provide a thesis that key concepts in automated data processing existed for high-school business students.
    
    Let's come to the meaning of a problem question. We could take that same thesis and recast as a problem question: What can be done to increase the number of parking lots at such-and-such university, Any City, U.S.A.? The problem question is now stated as a cause-effect relationship without the generalized thesis. The thesis helped build the problem question. In a thesis you can set out to prove a particular point of view. In a problem question you can set out to discover the causes of a situation and solve its needs.

    9/11 Commission Defines Its Problem

    Even Thomas Kean and Lee Hamilton, chairmen of the 9/11 Commission, were forced to develop problem questions for their 9/11 members:
    
    
    • Was 9/11 preventable?
    • Who was the enemy who had perpetrated this attack? Why did they hate us?
    • What had our government done to fight terrorism before 9/11?
    • How did one assign accountability for 9/11?
    • Were we safer now than we had been on September 11, 2001?
    • What could we do to make the American people safer and more secure? (
      Without Precedent, p. 15)
    
    In critically studying the previous questions, you may note at least two questions could be answered with yes or no. That is not necessarily the strongest problem question wording, but even those questions can be reworded to avoid obvious answering: e.g. How could we prevent future 9/11's and make our country safer? You can see that your task in defining your report problem is just as important as the 9/11 Commission's thoughtful questions.

    First Paragraph Contains Basic Information

    In the first paragraph of the memo, in addition to the centered heading, Introduction, place the title of the report, the symptoms of the report, and the problem question of the report. That is probably enough for the first paragraph. Remember to phrase the problem as a question.

    Problem Question Cannot Give Solution

    For instance, suppose a report writer penned the following question: "What would be a fair sales equity system that, after implementation, would help the ABC Company, Culver City achieve understanding with the employees?" Two points come to mind immediately in looking at this problem question:

    • The problem question cannot contain the solution.
    • The problem question has to introduce the gray area.

    Think about: The report writer has inadvertently placed the solution of fair sales equity as part of the problem question. We need to find out whether this solution is even feasible. Therefore, the hinted solution should not even be mentioned. The problem question has to attack the gray area where the answer (even if immediately apparent) is not even suggested in the question. Suppose the report writer penned this question instead: "What can be done to ensure that salespeople waiting on customers for long periods are compensated over salespeople who achieve a quick sale without taking time with the customer at ABC Corporation, Culver City?" This refinement helps the focus.

    Bias Remains Pervasive in Reports

    We all encounter bias in our society and in our writing. Bias remains an all-inclusive element of our lives, especially our working lives. Bias means you make up your mind in advance about something. You don't want to answer to the facts or both sides of an issue. The facts simply bore or confuse you. When someone says to you that John and Patsy Ramsey are guilty of murdering their young daughter, JonBenet, they are expressing bias. When someone says to you the police in Los Angeles or New York City are all "dirty," they are expressing bias. We need to learn to recognize bias.
    
    When you write a report you encounter bias. You have your mind made up about how the facts will be presented. That is bias. You want to become unbiased--that is, objective. Let's take a global example of bias. The Meltzer Commission created by the Congress of the United States met and decided the IMF (International Monetary Fund) needed to be disbanded. On that Commission 11 Republicans and 2 Democrats served. That immediately represents political bias. The Democrats on the Commission believed the Republicans had a "hidden agenda." The IMF has already spent billions to help developing countries stabilize their currencies and pay their bills. In many cases, local financing might have been more appropriate than IMF funding. It is difficult to eradicate poverty in the world. The IMF may not be the best agency for that purpose. The report issued by the Meltzer Commission may serve as a blueprint for the next Republican administration. Some of the democratic appointees to the Commission pointed out the bias when Mr. Levinson, one of its members, said: ". . .the commission was motivated by a preconceived notion that the IMF and World Bank should be eliminated" (The NY Times, p. C4, March 8, 2000). The Republican members of the Commission want to rename the IMF the World Development Agency and get out of the business of making loans. They want to phase out all loans to nations where the per capita income is $4,000 or more (Joseph Kahn, The New York Times, pC4, March 8, 2000). You have Congresspersons in favor of the IMF and those against. They all express their bias on a global scale.
    
    Bias should "come home" to us with our own report topics. Let's say you want to study your campus's attitude toward changing to a new athletic conference. You are a member of an athletic team. You, immediately, show bias in your selection of the report topic and your attitudes toward the situation. Let's say your family owns a restaurant. A member of your family is quite upset because the servers have such high turnover. You want to help your family. You possess "good" bias because of your desire to do something about the situation. We can make some broad statements about bias:
    
    
    • Bias is everywhere.
    • Bias needs to be recognized.
    • Bias creeps into our writing.
    • Bias creeps into our thinking.
    • Bias needs more objective analysis.
    • We can never completely eliminate bias.

      Factoring the Problem Helps Thinking Process

      When you look at the previous paragraph, you hear certain keywords in the problem question. That is called factoring. A colleague of mine, Professor Pat Garner, first introduced me to the importance of factoring. I always thought of factoring as a mathematical concept. You go through an algebraic problem, for example, and "factor out" the expression. Come to think of it, that happens with report writing. You find the keywords: salespeople, quick sale, customers, periods, and compensation. Why are the salespeople operating the way they are? Why do the salespeople want to achieve a quick sale? Who are the customers the salespeople are trying to serve? Why are some salespeople taking long periods with their customers? Why should compensation be different for salespeople who wait on customers for long periods? Why is compensation the same for both groups? You have created all these subproblems that will help your report.
      
      Another troublesome report question comes to mind: "What tasks or approaches can ABC Coffee House use to become more efficient in waste management?" Can you factor out the questions? The report writer should never place efficiency as part of that question. Efficiency represents a vague word that can have all kinds of connotations. That may have to be discovered through gathering the data. The term, waste management, provides additional concern. Did the report author mean recycling? Actually, the report author meant time delays and improper deliveries. Therefore, the report problem question needs to be changed: "What can be done to improve the improper deliveries and time delays at the ABC Coffee House, Woodland Hills? With these changes, can you factor out the keywords?

      Edwards Sees Perception As Solving Problems

      Betty Edwards, author of New Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, provided an intriguing way to view a problem by emphasizing drawing principles. Edwards, Professor Emeritus of Art at California State University, Long Beach, encourages budding artists to look at drawing as seeing. She enumerates five perceptual skills you need in drawing or solving a problem:
      
      
      • the perception of edges
      • the perception of spaces
      • the perception of relational angles and proportions
      • the perception of lights and shadows
      • the perception of the Gestalt or the whole.
      
      Solving a problem requires perception. You see the edges of the problem as taught by context. You see the spaces of the problem, including the negative space. The negative spaces are the empty spaces of the composition or the way the artist or report writer arranges the drawing. You see the proportions of the problem or the perspective. We also give that phenomenon the name, theme. You create a three-dimensional drawing with lights and shadows. You shed light on your report problem by approaching everything logically. Finally, it is necessary to see the whole of the problem as greater than the sum of its parts. In drawing, you have integrated all previous skills and perceptions.
      
      Edwards doesn't stop with the initial perception thoughts. She then asks questions related to problem solving:
      
      
      • Is it a problem relative to business problem solving? (edges)
      • How big is the problem? (spaces, including empty spaces)
      • What are the angles and proportion of the problem?
      • What are the constraints of the problem? (lights and shadows)
      • What do we know right now about the problem? (Gestalt)
      
      With these questions, based on Edwards' thinking, you see the wholeness of the problem or a set of problems.

      Purpose Creates the Objective(s)

      In the second paragraph you want to discuss in considerable depth about the purpose. You may have subpurposes. Don't start every sentence with "I." An occasional "I" sentence, though, will show that a human being exists behind the report. Let's further look at some purposes from previous years' reports and constructively criticize them:

      In this report I intend to develop some feasible solutions to solve the problem of increased car theft on Lindley Street.

      Comments: Notice that the "I" is buried within the sentence when you write purpose. The "I" does not begin the sentence. The sentence also defines the problem "of increased car theft" rather than saying we want to solve the problem and offer a solution. Now, let's consider the next example:

      "Survey results and observations enable Moorpark Gasoline to select more efficient ways of merchandising, by informing the manager of what the customers want from their purchases and the service the customers received from the employees." In the previous example the "I" is not even used. "I" is assumed without your even saying it. Who else is writing the purpose? You are the writer without having to say "I."

      Comments: We read immediately from the previous sentence the gas station wants to find out why customers are not satisfied with their purchases and service. That is purpose. That statement makes it clear to the reader why the report is being written. Also, note the previous sentence was written in the present tense for immediacy.

      Define Those Terms Carefully

      In the Definition paragraphs you want to define your terms. A term can be defined by the dictionary or functionally. If we say an eye is to see, we are defining the term functionally. That's the way you want to define your terms for the report. Dream up your own definitions that will fit the environment or organization you are studying. Underline each term and use verbs, such as suggests, defines, means, describes, or refers to. You do not always have to define terms by using is or are. Other ways exist to define the terms. Err on the side of defining too many terms than not enough. We can always reduce the number of terms later.
      
      How do you decide what terms to define? Every report should have some terms some lay person does not understand. For example, I heard on television the term and acronym, DOG. It had nothing to do with an animal. It meant the Department of Oil and Gas (DOG) that apparently oversees certain wells and well cappings related to the building of the Los Angeles Unified School District (LAUSD) Belmont Complex and its resultant foul-ups. To define that terms if you were writing a report on LAUSD construction, you would need to say more than DOG means. You have to explain the workings of the department and how is overseeing affected the school district. We call that a functional definition.
      
      Now let's return to a report you might write. You are talking about the effect on employee morale of a particular personnel or human relations decision. You need to define employee morale. Employee morale is not what you find in a management textbook. That represents a dictionary definition. You need to define employee morale as used in your company and with your employees. We are not interested in employee morale as an abstract concept. Maybe you meant the inability of management to post job offerings on the bulletin board. Is that employee morale? By clarifying the terms used in your report, you are setting the stage for understanding from the part of your report reader.

      Concentrate on Subject (Scope)

      Now, we come to the most important part of the memo. You are looking at the Scope and Limitations. Think of Scope as the subject matter of the report. Limitations are the boundaries you build around the report. You want to study the services of the library. Your Scope is the California State University, Northridge, Oviatt Library and its services.
      
      You have still not limited the problem. Maybe you only want to study the computer services of Oviatt Library. Now, you have begun to limit your report. You will now only study the computer services (as you define them) and their effect on the student users. The conclusions will now be easier to write because you have limited your topic.

      9/11 Commission Report Defines Scope

      If you think you have difficulty defining Scope, think what the 9/11 Chairmen faced. In their most recent book, Without Precedent: The Inside Story of the 9/11 Commission, Thomas Kean and Lee Hamilton express how difficult their task became when the legislation defining the Scope of their inquiry was prepared:
      
      
      • (i)intelligence agencies
      • (ii)law enforcement agencies
      • (iii)diplomacy
      • (iv)immigration, nonimmigrant visas, and border control
      • (v)the flow of assets to terrorist organizations
      • (vi)commercial aviation
      • viii)other areas of the public and private sectors determined relevant by the Commission for its inquiry. (Kean and Hamilton, Without Precedent, pp. 14-15)
      
      The next time you are thinking of complaining about your scope and its definition in your report, remember the work of the 9/11 Commission. The Chairmen had less than one year to appoint the members, collect the data, and present the report. Their collection of data involved endless hearings, both public and private. Further, think of the mountains of information that had to be digested by the Commission. As Kean and Hamilton phrased the issue, "We had an exceedingly broad mandate." (Without Precedent, p. 14)

      Delimitations Denote Coverage

      You need to help the reader understand the coverage and non-coverage of your report. Therefore, you encounter delimitations in the academic sense and delimiters in the business sense. You want to tell your reader what the report does not include. For example, you might say: "This report does not include other Southern California department stores." "This report does not include the Burbank office." Immediately, the reader is alerted what to read about. You as the report writer have protected yourself from preparing sweeping conclusions. You know what your report is going to concern. The reader is also not left in the bushes wondering about the subject matter.

      Report Doesn't Need a Personality

      When writing about the report, writers often make the mistake of giving personality to the inanimate object they are describing. Certain examples of that practice follow:
      
      

      The report concentrates
      The report attempts to describe
      The report surveys
      The report examines
      The report analyzes
      The report contemplates
      The report shows
      The report encompasses

      In the last instance, the report "encompasses," the grievous offense of personality is probably not as bad as the other examples. Avoid at all costs giving personality to the report. The report does not do anything. Words, such as "considers," "includes," and "concerns," appear less grating on the ear and less obstrusive to the eye. We can write without asking the report to get up from the desk and come talk to us.

      Toss the Mishmash of Information

      This past semester I had a chance to reflect on some of the students' reports. Certain reports could have been stronger in the beginning if the students had remembered the admonition about limiting the subject. I will never forget an excellent report about teenage pregnancies. The student wanted to study teenage pregnancies in the entire United States. I explained that we did not want to write a term paper. The student dutifully wrote the first draft of the first report section through the Alternatives (Procedures). I urged the student to limit the topic and confine the data gathering to one high school. The student eventually told me she had settled on a high school near her residence. Still, the next draft of the second, third, and fourth sections of the report reflected the broadening instead of narrowing emphasis in the report. I again cautioned limiting to one high school.

      The Analysis and Decisions part of the report would be much stronger with just the data from the teenagers at the one high school. We cannot save the whole world in one report. We must eliminate the mishmash of information that creeps into an otherwise well-crafted report. In time, the report presented a well-balanced emphasis with the one high school and its teenagers only included.

      Prepare Procedures Carefully

      The last section of your Introduction is called the Alternatives (previously called the Procedures or Methodology). Here, you tell how you are going to gather the data. You specify whether you are using a survey and whether you are using questionnaires, interview guides, or combinations. You tell how many people you are going to interview or question. You give specific numbers, which represent a contract between you and the professor. You don't tell the exact questions, but you explain the makeup of the questions. You mention any secondary data that will be particularly helpful. You mention any company reports or documents and periods of time you will study.

      9/11 Commission Works Procedures with Limited Budget

      In an earlier paragraph you were introduced to the 9/11 Commission Chairmen and their responsibility for problem questions and scope. Let's take a moment to examine how vast their procedures became. Remember that procedures have to do with the gathering of data. The Chairmen, to gather sensitive information, had to talk to both the Clinton and Bush administrations. They revisited painful events (Without Precedent, p. 15). In the beginning the Commission chairmen possessed no offices, no staff, and no government security clearances (Without Precedent, p. 15). They operated with an insufficient budget of $3 million (Without Precedent, p. 15).

      Tipping Points Spread Like Viruses

      When I first saw the book, The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference advertised, I wasn't sure the book related to report writing. Could it be an economics or marketing emphasis? After reading a few chapters, the book has considerable significance for report writing. Malcolm Gladwell, the author, introduces us to change (an important part of report writing)with three immutable tipping points:
      
      
      • Law of the Few
      • Stickiness Factor
      • Power of Context.
      
      In the Law of the Few, Gladwell illustrates his "few" by telling the story of how Hush Puppies, the famous shoe manufacturer, came back from the dead, so to speak. Some young people in the Greenwich Village section of New York City bought the shoes, because they believed "only the end crowd" wore the shoes. That small trend caused the Hush Puppies' business to soar once more in sales. A company that looked like it was on the skids bounced back, stronger than ever. Little changes can sometimes have big effects. Look at your report topic. You are expecting big changes by limiting your topic to a few, small facts. That may happen, and you will be accused of the Law of the Few.
      
      You can also use the analogy of the Tipping Point. At some point most Americans began to own cellular telephones. Gladwell estimated that by 1998 most Americans began to own cellphones. The Tipping Point came that year.
      
      Stickiness means the message makes an impact. Malcolm Gladwell was fond of telling the story about the advertising slogan, "Winston Tastes Good Like a Cigarette Should." After the outcry from the English teachers about the word, like, incorrectly used, the company defended its slogan as a colloquialism rather than bad grammar. The slogan was remembered by the public because of its bouncy quality. It stuck. Do you want your report to "stick"? Then, come up with memorable statements in your Findings, Conclusions, and Recommendations that cause your reader to think.
      
      The Power of Context is harder to describe. You find yourself in a context or a situation when you write your report. Many years ago residents of apartment buildings found themselves in a context when someone screamed for help and was killed on the street. To this day we wonder why no one came to the aid of that poor young woman. Didn't anyone hear the screams? Couldn't anyone have called the police? Why did people simply watch from their windows? Gladwell speculates the woman would have been helped if only, maybe, four or fewer people, had seen the incident. With large numbers hearing and seeing, no one felt compelled to help. Responsibility for acting was diffused in a group. The 38 people who heard the screams thought someone else was going to call the police. We need to care about our neighbors and our reports. However, we need to remember the Power of Context when we write or when we act in any manner. You want your recommendations accepted. Then, you have to present them in a Power of Context that will be acceptable to your readers. You have to find the Tipping Point.

      Considerations Cause Special Writing

      When you write the Considerations, or what we used to call Findings, chapter, you are faced with reporting data. Data require a special kind of reporting. Let's say you want to report the following data: 72 percent of the respondents believe we need a shopping center on campus. First, you have to report the numbers and then the percentages. The sentence should read: Forty-eight respondents (72 percent) believe a shopping center would be desirable on the campus. Please also note that the number at the beginning of the sentence had to be written in words, not numbers. That is an exception to the rule of writing numbers over 10 in numerals.

      Paraphrasing Saves Expansive Writing

      When you start to write data about a survey, you are confronted with the length of the sentences. To save space, especially in short reports, you need to use paraphrasing. Find those keywords that most explain the essence of a question. Instead of saying "In Question 1, "Would you consider supervising 40 or more employees a difficult task to achieve?", state the essence of the question. You might write: "The question about supervising 40 or more employees elicited 30 men answering favorably and 25 women answering unfavorably (Attachment A)."
      

      Primary Data Cause Greatest Concern

      In the Considerations you need to first report the primary data. Those would be the data that concern your interviews and questionnaires. Let's say you gathered data from 50 respondents. Report those data in appropriate paragraphs. Then, take care of the secondary data. That would be what magazines, newspapers, the Internet, and books say about your subject.

      Suppose you have some quotes from your interviews that would work well in your Considerations. Select certain quotes and integrate them In talking with Manager A he reported the following about our company: ". . . . . . " Remember that primary data always concern what you have gathered, not what someone else said in a magazine or whatever about the subject.

      Make Frequent Reference to the Attachments

      When you write your Considerations, you are immediately faced with how much and what to include. You include most of your data. The memo length of five pages maximum precludes you from including every piece of data unless you have room. In writing the Considerations, make sure you make frequent reference to the visuals contained in the Attachments. Frequent reference means more than twice. Be careful about stating the following phrase: Table 1 shows . . . The table is an inanimate object, and it does not "show" anything. Instead, write: The data in Table 1 (Attachment A) suggest that large numbers of business students are . . Another way to express the information might include: Based on the data collected through the interviews, 14 employees believe the morale is suffering within the organization (Attachment B-Figure 1).

      Attachments Require Their Own Title Pages

      Attachments should have their own title pages. These title pages are placed before the visuals, the questions, or whatever. The word, ATTACHMENT A, and double spaced below it in Principal Letters, (e.g. Respondents' Answers to Questions about Crime) are placed "smack dab in the middle of the page." On the next page will appear the table or figure all properly laid out with Table/Figure Number and Title. You may also occasionally write double spaced below ATTACHMENT the words Table 1 or Figure 1 without naming the visual. The naming of the visual will occur on the next page anyway.

      Analysis Gives You Interpretations

      This section of the memo concerns the conclusions or interpretations of the data. You want to make generalizations only based on the data. The generalizations must make sense from what you have said in the Considerations (Findings). The Analysis can either be numbered or placed in paragraph form. For purposes of illustration let's take some prior reports and see how the writers handled their analysis. In the first example, this writer started out strong with his Analysis, but he or she faltered slightly with placing new information in this report section:

      According to the surveys and interviews, an overwhelming change needs to be made in the way sales training is presented. The reason for this is because telecommunications technology tends to be highly technical and complex.

      Comments: If one critically reads the Considerations (Findings) of this writer, nowhere did a discussion about telecommunications technology being highly sophisticated occur. Furthermore, the writer of this piece should not use the word, "overwhelming." We can characterize the data too much. Be careful of superlatives. Do not place any new information in the Analysis or the Decision.

      The next passage from another report takes an entirely different tack. It, matter of factly, lays out the evidence as conclusions:

      As a result of the interviews, a significant number of users want more out of their computer system than currently provided. Looking at the data from automation, the respondents wanted some other feature not provided with the current system. Users need to use tools they see and read about from other sources. They want to customize their environment to their specific needs and not to a general environment for all users. The database program does not meet the needs of fund-raising for the Company. Users want more interaction and utilities, so they can manage their donors effectively. They need instant access to their clients to formulate the correct donor solicitation.

      Comments: Please observe in the previous passage the writer did not attempt to use weasel words, such as most, many, several, and some. These words always need precise definitions followed in parentheses. When the writer says "users," he or she is meaning the major portion of the respondents preferred this solution. The writer speaks with authority, because the data presented have him or her saying something worthwhile. Little attempt is made to write the passage as a recommendation. The recommendations are suggested by the forcefulness of the conclusions.

      Analysis Creates the Report Harmony

      In a recent conversation with a student, we talked about the difference between conclusions (Analysis) and recommendations(Decisions). As we discussed the differences, both of us thought of a recent TV special with Celine Dion (her farewell concert) and Gloria Estefan, two singers with different styles. Each sang a song the other made famous. The words didn't quite ring true. It got me thinking in the conversation. The Analysis provides a harmony or a melding of melodies with the Considerations and the Recommendations. If you say, for example, in a report about salesmanship, the company is spending little time training the salespeople, that is Analysis. It is an interpretation of the data. You would expect to see in the Considerations some comments about the number of hours currently devoted to the training. In the Decisions (Recommendations) you would expect to see specifics on how the salesmanship training program can be improved.
      
      My student friend commented the report has rhythm. Each part, the Considerations, Analysis, and Decisions, contributes to the other part. The beat goes on, to use that cliche. The beat goes on from Considerations to Analysis. The harmony of the report gives the document chords and syncopation. The underlying rhythm tells the report reader all the parts fit like a glove.

      Reports Need Explanation

      When the Starr Report was issued about the Lewinsky affair, the public probably thought the issue was settled. The Impeachment Trial should have finished any name of the affair. Unfortunately, most reports have addendum. As the new Independent Counsel explained, reports need to follow about Travelgate, Filegate, and Whitewater. Travelgate concerned whether Mrs. Clinton was actively involved in dismissing former White House members of the Travel Office. Filegate concerned alleged mismanagement of documents that related to the Vincent Foster (former counsel to the President) suicide. Whitewater meant land deals in Arkansas that had questionable investments and the Rose Law Firm (Mrs. Clinton at that time a member) doing work for Jim McDougal's savings and loan.
      
      The pieces of the Starr Report are not complete without certain jigsaw sections. Mr. Robert W. Ray, who filed a series of final reports, was quoted as being concerned about the final report explanations: "It's not enough to say 'we've issued a report.' Part of my responsibility is to explain our judgments so the country can evaluate them." ("Starr's Successor Readying Final Reports on Clintons," The New York Times, March 10, 2000, p. A12). As you can see, this type of quote only lends credence to the importance of the analytical report. The reader has to be guided with the conclusions and recommendations. The public may not agree with the findings of these three final reports, but they deserve the insight offered by Ray and others in his office. It is interesting to note that certain of these reports will not be issued until July 4 and the time of the inaugural in 2001. Three federal judges from the Office of Independent Counsel will review Mr. Ray's findings before issuing the final reports to the public and the news media. Anyone named in the report, such as the Clintons, will receive advance copies before the final copies are disseminated.

      Logical Fallacies Create Trouble

      At least three major logical fallacies create trouble in writing the Analysis. They can broken down in the following way:

      • Avoid sweeping generalizations. Example: All students should start recycling on campus.
      • Be careful of post hoc, ergo propter hoc (after this, therefore because of this). The post hoc usually deals with time. I went to get a flu shot, and then got sick with a cold. The flu shot is the cause. Post hoc, ergo propter hoc. Example: After the O.J. Criminal Trial was completed, the jury system needs revamping. Note: Perhaps, the jury system needed revamping without the O.J. Criminal Trial.
      • Do not use non sequiturs (It does not follow). Students do not use library computer services on the weekend; therefore, the library should be shut on the weekends. Note: A non sequitur has occurred because shutting the library on the weekends has little to do with the use of library computer services.
      • Avoid begging the question. Example: A student becomes wishy-washy in making recommendations. Come out and say what you believe. "Hemming" and "hawing" about the point will not get the job done. You have to take a stand, whether it is popular in your report or not. Suppose the report writer pens:

        The organization can either provide a smoke-free environment or not.

        
        The report writer has "begged the question." Decide on one or the other. The boss is paying the report writer to come up with decisions.

      President's Lawyer Alludes to Post Hoc

      During the impeachment trial in the Senate, David Kendall, the President's Lawyer, referred to after this, therefore, because of this (post hoc, ergo propter hoc). Kendall used the example of Vernon Jordan, the president's adviser, getting Ms. Lewinsky a job. Did it follow that Mr. Jordan speeded up the process to find Ms. Lewinsky a position in New York City to keep her quiet from testifying? The President's Lawyer contends that Mr. Jordan helped many young people obtain positions, and, in his capacity, as a board director on major corporations, such as Revlon. Therefore, no post hoc, ergo propter hoc or quid pro quo (tit for tat)existed. You cannot say this: Because Mr. Jordan helped Ms. Lewinsky obtain a position and speeded the process, therefore, Mr. Jordan is guilty of helping the president obstruct justice.

      Decision(s) Drive Home the Point

      The last section of your analytical report memo or the last chapter, Decision(s)-originally called Recommendations, allows you to use specifics. If you have said, we need a new computer system in the Analysis, then you must detail in the Decisions the specifics of the computer system and all the specifications. Therefore, always think the Decisions grow out of the Analysis out of the Considerations. Everything must hang together like glue.

      As with the Analysis, Decisions are not a long section of the memo. The Decisions may be numbered as long as an introductory sentence is given. A report completed in the past had three recommendations for creating safer conditions for driving in a particular neighborhood. The researcher had carefully polled each of the sets of respondents and recommended the following to the City Council or appropriate body:

      The California Vehicle Code conflicts with itself with the Code explained in Section 2. I suggest the Code be rewritten to say:

      (b) A driver having yielded as prescribed in subdivision (a)may proceed to enter the
      intersection only if it is safe to do so, and the drivers of all other approaching
      vehicles shall yield the right-of-way to the vehicle entering or crossing the intersection.

      I believe this revision makes the Code less ambiguous regarding liability in the event of an accident occurring.

      Comments: The student has definitely written a specific recommendation in the previous recommendation. He or she can take that rewriting of the Code to the City Council of the respective area and present why this code needs rewriting. The student has not stopped in his recommendation by simply saying the Code needs rewriting. The student has given specifics about the exact rewording of the code.

      In the next passage about Decisions, the writer is faced with making recommendations about how to attract clients to the Karate Studio. This section requires extreme care because the writer does not want to make recommendations he cannot support. Here's the passage:

      Ventura Karate should immediately establish a private lesson program for new students. Because potential students are interested in private instruction, Ventura should study the cost of offering free, private lessons with sign-up. An introductory private lesson with a Black Belt instructor would be a strong motivational tool for new students. The lesson could serve more than one purpose, such as familiarizing the students with the Rules and Regulations of the studio. The lesson may be offered with regular sign-up packages or similar promotions. Competing karate schools currently offer private lessons for new students, and Ventura has previously offered these lessons as well. Potential students perceive private instruction to be beneficial, and, therefore, Ventura should consider these previous recommendations.

      Comments: Please note the writer starts out with the strongest recommendation about establishing a private lesson program. Then, all other ideas follow from that. Please observe the writer gives specific examples of how that private lesson program will be implemented. The reader is not left with doubts about how the Studio can find more clients. The recommendations succeed for that reason. They give specifics, and at the same time, allow reader to implement the suggestions clearly. The writer also did his homework by checking other karate studios and understanding the makeup of his own studio.

      Wording Creates Difficulties in C-A-D

      One of the latest reports from the Federal Government about the use of FBI lab data contains a certain kind of writing that needs further examining. Writers tend to use "should be" in writing their conclusions and recommendations (what we call Analysis and Decision). Some excerpts from the Office of the Inspector General of the U.S. Justice Department report on the "Summary of Recommendations for the FBI Laboratory" will illustrate the point:

      "Reports should be clear, concise, objective and understandable." "The Laboratory should pursue accreditation at the earliest possible time."

      Think about: In the previous first sentence the report writer has relied on "should be" as the only verb within the sentence. "Should be" begs the question. Either the reports for the FBI Lab are clear and concise or not. In the second sentence the report writer has become more careful and introduced the main verb as "pursue" to accommodate the problem with "should." Unfortunately, the report writer has relied on the worn-out phrase, "at the earliest possible time" to complete the sentence.

      The report writer in the first instance needed to reconstruct the sentence: FBI laboratory reports need clear, concise, objective, and understandable writing. The report writer has now "punched" the sentence with some emphasis. Suppose the second sentence had been rewritten: "The Laboratory requires accreditation soon." Notice how much shorter the sentence is with the revision. Does the sentence give the same meaning. Report writers often use "should be" when they may not want to be held accountable for the report's results.

      The Background to the Office of Inspector General's FBI Lab Report contains some convoluted sentences that take the reader forever to digest. Let's take an example:

      "At the outset, the Inspector General emphasized that the investigation would not be restricted to the Whitehurst's (editor's note: former FBI Supervisory Special Agent with doctorate in chemistry and made serious allegations) specific allegations, and that the report would also address any other pertinent issues identified in the course of the investigation and comment on ways to further enhance the quality of the Laboratory's work."

      Think about: The report writer seems to be talking about Purpose. Also, one could surmise that Scope is implied in this one, long sentence. The report writer forgot about one idea to a sentence, please. At the phrase, "and that the report," a new sentence could have been constructed. Can you construct the new sentence? Notice how the use of prepositions (in, of, to, of) add to the length of the sentence. Check the Web for the possible answer after you have done the exercise.

      Swinging a Wide Loop in Conclusions Causes Problems

      In the recent Campaign Finance Hearings chaired by Republican Senator Fred Thompson, the ranking Democrat on the Committee, Senator John Glenn of space fame, commented that Senator Thompson may have swung a wider loop on the conclusions than Glenn would have. That comment brings to mind how carefully we must write the conclusions. Glenn was suggesting Thompson's conclusions about the Chinese connection influencing our campaign finances may have had too broad a swath. When you write your conclusions, look out for the trap of concluding for the entire world. If you are writing about the drug problem on campus, you cannot conclude for the entire Southern California, only for California State University, Northridge, and the part of the campus studied. If you are writing about better loans for minorities at such-and-such bank, you cannot conclude for every bank in Los Angeles or the country.

      Example Provides Setup

      To:		Dr. G. Jay Christensen
      
      From:		Julie E. Student
      
      Date:		Current
      
      Subject:	FINAL ANALYTICAL REPORT
      
      
                                   Introduction
      
      This memo concerns the completion of the final analytical report, 
      "Increasing Door-to-Door Sales at Excellent Service Promotions 
      (ESP), Chatsworth.  Salespeople at Excellent Service Promotions require
      major techniques of selling products door-to-door.  Poorly skilled 
      sellers result in low sales, little income, and high resignations
      at ESP.  How can door-to-door sales of coupon booklets at ESP be
      increased to an optimal level?
      

      ESP Needs Training Procedures

      Low sales result from ESP's needed training procedures.  Most sellers 
      are not properly trained.  Many of the sellers don't possess prior 
      selling experience.  In my two years at ESP, I've noticed strikingly
      low sales among many of the sellers.  Therefore, I have decided to 
      discover the issues about these proper training procedures and find
      a solution to implementing better procedures.
      

      Terms Need Clarification

      ESP is a promotion company based in Chatsworth, employing independent 
      contractors to sell automotive service specials door-to-door.  Door-
      to-door sales involve knocking on doors to find customers, rather than 
      over the telephone or at a store.  Coupon books or sometimes called
      automotive service specials are what ESP sells, and these booklets
      give the buyer free automotive services at a local car care center,
      such as Unocal 76 or a Shell station.  District manager refers to the
      person in charge of taking a group of sellers to an area to sell.  
      The Close becomes the most important element of a sale when sellers
      conclude their sale by asking the buyer to perform an action, such 
      as filling out a form.
      

      Sellers Provide the Information

      This report concerns the need to retrain all sellers at ESP on such
      topics as approaching buyers, presenting buyers with information and,
      most importantly, closing sales.  This report does not consider the
      East Los Angeles branch of ESP and its employees.  Only the Chatsworth
      office will be considered.  The report includes only door-to-door 
      sales, not telemarketing and retail sales.
      
      A group of 15 sellers completes my survey on their selling abilities 
      and overall experience at ESP.  The surveys include opinion-gathering
      questions to examine the overall working atmosphere at ESP.  The
      survey also includes multiple choice and scale-based questions 
      designed to trace the seller's present selling abilities.  I combine
      these data with facts and references from books on improving sales 
      and an interview with ESP's two owners.
      

      
                                    Considerations
      

      Surveys Help Increase Sales at ESP

      After breaking down the information from the 15 surveys, I found overall 
      sales levels are low at ESP.  Responses to the number of sales made for
      the past four weeks appear in Table 1, Attachment A.  Only three sales-
      people have sold at least 49 coupon books in the past four weeks.  Only
      one out of 15 sellers who completed a survey shows up in the high range
      with over 100 sales in the past four weeks.
      
      Survey Portrays Selling Skills
      
      Using a series of true or false questions, I tested the selling skills 
      of the ESP employees.  Table 2, Attachment B, lists these questions as
      well as the number of correct answers.  In question 1 about appearance,
      10 of the 15 respondents believe dress is not crucial.  The sellers 
      are equally divided about whether to use one sales pitch, while they 
      do not know which pitch is preferred.  Tweleve of the 15 respondents
      readily accept the statement they try to motivate the buyers.  
      Question 3 on Table 1 asks sellers how they deal with buyers who 
      cannot make up their minds.  All respondents answered they do not 
      accept the idea of closing the sale rather than having the buyers 
      keep talking about the product.  All the sellers fall victim to what
      Sal Massimino calls the "closing block" in his book, The Complete
      Book of Closing Sales(New York:  AMACOM, 1981, p. 73).  He notes that 
      sellers "get tired of closing, and they cut the sizzle out of their sales" 
      (Massimino, The Complete Book of Closing Sales, p. 75).  To break 
      this closing block, Massimino believes that "no sales can be made
      until you ask for the order" (The Complete Book of Closing Sales, 
      New York:  AMACOM, 1981, p. 77).
      
      Survey Mentions Flexibility Skills
      
      Six (40 percent) of the sellers avoid one pitch, which I labeled as
      flexibility in selling.  They repeat the same lines to every buyer,
      and after a while, it becomes evident to the buyers this seller is
      not for real.  Two elements come into play for each sales, according
      to Paul Micali in The Lacy Techniques of Salesmanship.  They
      are:  product knowledge and the salesperson's role (Micali, New York:
      W. P. Dutton, 1982, p. 35). 
      
      Training Sessions Provide Help
      
      Toward the end of the survey, I asked the sellers whether they would
      attend training seminars if the courses were available to them.  
      Eleven of the 15 respondents expressed interest in the seminars and
      would attend (Figure 1, Attachment C).  According to Figure 2, 
      Attachment D, the sellers prefer motivation, customer rejections,
      and closing sales as the subjects where the most training is needed.
      Seventy-two percent of the sellers who want training desire the 
      education in motivation, closing customer rejections, and closing 
      sales.
      
      ESP Motivates Sellers
      In my survey I asked the sellers an open-ended question to get feedback 
      on increasing sales at the company.  In two cases, I came across the
      word, motivation.  One saller participant wrote, "pump us up before 
      sellling," while another wrote "more motivation."  As my manager, Bob
      Kotizee suggested, one of the best methods to motivate sellers is 
      having company gatherings, such as baseball games.  Mr. Kotizee 
      mentioned retraining is quite important when he said:  "If we increase
      sales through retraining, motivation should be a footstep away."  Only
      7 percent of the surveyed sellers remain at an optimal sales level, 
      with 80 percent at very low volume and the remaining 13 percent in 
      between the other two.
      
      Sellers Attend School
      In deciding how much training to provide, it must be noted that ten
      out of fifteen sellers (67 percent) are presently attending school, 
      such as four-year or two-year community college.  If books on sales
      were made available at work, seven out of fifteen (47 percent) would
      read the entire book.  The remaining eight seller participants 
      (53 percent) would at least scan the books.
      
      Technology Helps in Training
      In my opinion, two effective ways exist to increase training produc-
      tivity, using some simple technological devices, such as the cassette
      recorder and the video.  In Massimino's book, The Complete Book
      of Closing Sales, he suggest the method of having salespeople
      record their voice while selling.  Sales managers then listen to the
      tape and help the sellers with what the managers believe needs 
      improvement.
      
                                       Analysis
      
      In this report, the following conclusions appear apparent:
      
           1.  All respondents to the survey do not know the importance of
      closing a sale, and would not try to close an indecisive 
      buyer.
      
           2.  Learning from books seems popular among the surveyed sellers
      at ESP, because the majority (67 percent) of them currently 
      attend school.
      
           3.  Creativity and personal style seem to be ignored by almost
      half of the employees at ESP, and that fact contributes to what 
      would be called low sales levels.
      
           4.  The surveyed sellers do not know they need help, because most
      of the low motivation is causing what could be termed closing 
      block.
      
           5.  Sellers have set inflexible standards of communicating with 
      the buyers, and these sellers would prefer these methods than 
      using creativity and style in their talking.
      
           6.  Motivational level at ESP seems to be a big factor in low 
      sales volumes.  At least one quarter of the surveyed sellers 
      seek guidance with increasing their motivational levels.
      
           7.  The surveyed sellers agree to and desire training sessions
      at ESP.
      
           8.  Training sessions must be designed to help sellers fulfill
      their educational needs.
      
           9.  Because 10 out of 15 sellers are currently attending school,
      learning sales books provided to these sellers will benefit  
      their helpful sales techniques on the employee's own 
      initiative.
      
          10.  Because surveyed sellers need training in areas, such as 
      regularly closing sales, ESP must consider training its   
      sellers until they have reached their maximum productivity.
      
                                      Decisions
      
      The following calculation should be used to find out the commission
      of sellers:
      
      		[present commission + (months employed/3}\].
      
      For instance, if John, an employee, is current making $8 per sale and
      has been with the company for six months, his commission would become:  
      [8+6/3] or $10.
      
      Sellers Need Further Motivation
      
      Another way of motivating the sellers is providing them with benefits.
      All sellers need to receive one free meal of their choice, not to 
      exceed $5, every day at work.  ESP needs to get the sellers together
      once in a while, such as a trip to Las Vegas, or to a ball game.  ESP 
      should be obligated to pay for the cost of travel and food for company
      trips, and room and board remains the responsibility of the sellers.
      Now, sellers pay for all their expenses on company trips, and no free
      meals are provided for them at work.
      
      Sellers Need Bookshelf Learning
      
      Because learning from books seems popular among student sellers, a book-
      shelf and a series of books need to be purchased and placed in the
      waiting room at ESP.  These books should be mainly on closing sales,
      but could include appearance, communication skills, and other such
      books on business. Instructional videotapes and audio/video recorders will
      give the managers power of training without being formally at a
      seminar.  The videos will include subjects, such as dealing with
      rejections and closing sales.  ESP can introduce the top seller of
      the month in selected videos to reward those doing well.  Tape recorders
      will be carried by sellers while they work and used to record their
      sales talk (with permission of client).  Going over this recording can be done either one on one
      or in groups, both run by the district manager.
      
      

      Example of Previous Decisions Needs Comments

      You should be critical of the previous Decisions written by an actual student. That calculation of about commissions should have been presented first in the Considerations.
      
      Did you notice the report writer gave specifics about how to entice the sellers with benefits? That part of the Decisions appeared stronger than the first paragraph. The report writer got caught in the paragraph about the videotapes. The tapes already exist, and the report writer should have acknowledged that fact.
      
      Cleverly, the report writer finished with comments about how the videotape could be incorporated with the top seller of the month. That was creativity at work.

      BONUS QUESTION FOR WEEK 13

      As mentioned in class, you now have a chance to earn a point. The question is:

      You look at the following sentences in the Considerations part of the report: "Clearly, the data show the employees are stealing from the company. The valuable responses from the employees suggest something needs to be done and fast."

      What principle of data presentation is violated in the previous passage? What trap did the writer fall in?
      

      Check Your Report Order

      When you turn in the final analytical memo, make sure the following order is observed:

      • Transmittal Memo
      • Executive Summary
      • The Full Report in Memo Form (page numbered)
      • Attachments
        Survey Questions

        Table

        Chart

        Other Material

        Interview Questions and Responses (keyboarded)

        Bibliography.

      Also, make sure you label the manila envelope with each of its contents (in detail) plus the disk and the deletionary cards. The working papers in this manila envelope will be turned in separately.

      Transmittal Memo Adds Nice Touch

      The transmittal memo or letter represents a cover sheet to the entire report. The transmittal memo gives a finished quality to the report. It is your chance to encourage the reader to look at your document. Usually, a transmittal memo, for this class, consists of three major paragraphs:

      • Statement about Report Being Finished
      • Purpose of Report and Any Encouragement to Read
      • Thanks for the Business Assignment.

      In the first paragraph, tell the reader the report is finished. You don't have to say: "I'm Out of Here." Matter of factly, tell the reader you have completed the assignment. For example, you might say:

      The report you asked for on how can the owners reduce the amount of smoke at the Los Angeles Billiards is complete. The semester report is rewritten with the essential sections improved.

      In the next paragraph talk about your purpose for writing the report. Also, bring up any significant considerations, analysis, or decision the reader would like to know. That encourages the reader to look at your report rather than setting it aside.

      In the last paragraph you thank the reader for having given you the business assignment. You may not feel thankful. Still, it is common business courtesy to thank the reader. You are working for that individual. Be careful of using the B.S. Factor.

      In dating the transmittal memo, use the date the report will be turned in. That connects all of your writing. Do not use the date you finished the memo.

      Characterizing Data Can Be Dangerous

      Sometimes we are tempted to characterize the data as surprising or astonishing. Avoid that tendency. The data are to be treated as data, nothing more in the Considerations. Even be careful about using the word random or significant. Unless the number is truly significant (over 50 percent), avoid even using that word. That is the "fun" part of doing a report: finding data you did not expect. You are obligated, however, to present the data as objectively as possible.

      The report writer is preparing a paragraph about questionnaire data. The report writer suddenly pens:

      The current students provide a valuable sampling of student opinions.

      Why should the writer tell the reader the data are valuable? Of course, the data are valuable. The writer is falling into the trap of characterizing the data. The data surprised me. We are not interested in your surprise. Just report the data, and let the readers make up their minds about the surprise or the astonishment. Another point I have seen in certain papers: "My two professors, both in management, insightfully provided information about how the curriculum has changed." Please don't add insightfully. Let the readers make up their minds whether the data provided any insight.

      Table and Chart Cannot Speak for Themselves

      Report writers often think the table or chart in the attachments or wherever located can speak for themselves. That is not the case. Tables and charts need explanations. You need to select significant data (large numbers, outstanding percentages) and present these facts. Also, frequent reference (more than two times) helps the reader understand the importance of the data. Be careful about stating these types of phrases:

      The data in Table 1 and Figure 1 appear to have significance.

      Comments: What data? The report writer has taken the easy way to make a slight reference to the data.

      Now, let's consider the next set of writing about the analytical report considerations. Also, don't forget the data for the table and figure belong in the Considerations, not the Analysis and Decisions. Here's the writing:

      The three interviewees agreed there was a problem with an employee shortage in our office (Figure 1-Attachment C). Everyone believed that work has been piling up since our last employee quit. All three interviewees decided that something needed to be done to fix the problem. Only one employee knew what cross-training was (Figure 1-Attachment C). The interviewed employees agreed cross-training could greatly benefit our and office. They are willing to try this training.

      Comments: The report writer in the previous passage has avoided "The figure shows." The data are cleanly expressed, and the reader is left with the importance of looking at the attachments.

      In the next report we are concerned with the high crime rate in a particular part of the city. The writer deftly refers to the table to let the reader know the importance of the data:

      Out of the 16 business owners, 11 said the police department should do more to stop crime (Table 1-Attachment B). All of business owners (Table 1) mentioned that sometimes they don't even bother reporting any crime to the police because these owners know what the outcome is going to be. They all stated police are slow in responding to emergency calls. In Table 1, 11 business owners agreed that the city needs to create jobs targeted at recruiting gang members and at-risk high school students.

      Comments: Notice how the report writer made frequent reference to the table. It is not wrong to add Table 1 at the end of the sentence or somewhere appropriate in the sentence's middle. The reader is constantly reminded to look at the table for all the data and the significant data. The table takes on a life of its own as it is frequently referenced. You as a reader want to look at the table. The report writer is telling you the meaning can be found in the table. The attachments become important.

      "The Data May Appear Elsewhere Issue"

      Lately, certain of my students have suggested the tables and figures need to appear with the text. A danger exists with this analysis. The report writer may forget to comment before and after the placement of the table or the figure on the same page. The table or chart stands in sharp contrast to the rest of the text. The reader is left with this burning question: "What is the significance of this particular visual?" Again, the table or chart (figure) cannot speak for themselves. A placement on a page does not guarantee reference or significance. Therefore, I recommend placement of the tables and charts in the Attachments. It is not to say data are not placed ever on the same page with the text.

      Place Your Opinion Somewhere Else

      Your opinion does not belong in the report for the most part. If you decide to place your opinion in the Considerations as "informed opinion," please label opinion as opinion. You may say: "In my opinion,. . ." You may say: "I believe . . .," and the reader may either accept your opinion or not.

      Find Another Way to Say Yes or No

      Many report writers who are new to the game of analytical reports make the mistake of stating information awkwardly. They forget the report reading has to flow. For example, a report writer inadvertently states the following:

      Of the 37 sisters surveyed, when asked if they had ever been in financial arrears at any time for any reason, 15 had said yes.

      The awkwardness of the writing becomes apparent. How much better it would have been if the report writer had keyboarded:

      When the surveyed 37 sisters were asked about having their dues in arrears, 15 reported they had. We could also write: "Fifteen of the 37 sisters reported they had their dues in arrears." To avoid the "in arrears," we would say: "Fifteen of the 37 sisters reported they neglected to pay their dues on time."

      Little by little you can see we are improving the writing and avoiding the awkwardness of reporting "yes" or "no" or "no opinion." The report writer does not have to say: "answered with a yes response." That, unfortunately, shows the immaturity of writing and reporting research data.

      Always Introduce Your Quotes in Considerations

      When report writers prepare quotations as part of their findings, they forget to introduce the quote with a phrase that explains what the quote will be about. They say, for example, the following:

      Jack Smith says: "The employee should always be king in this company."

      That sends the wrong message to the report reader. The report reader wants to be prepared for the quote. How much better it would have been if the report writer had said:

      Jack Smith believes the employee is always important when he mentioned: "The employee should always be king in this company."

      Now, the reader is prepared for the importance of the quotation. The quotation does not stand by itself. Here's another example where the report writer did not take enough time to explain the quote. The statement from the report reads:

      As Jackie Mouse stated in the interview I had with her, "the pledges who don't ask questions are the ones who get into problems. You have to make yourself aware of your obligations."

      The report writer did not take enough time to realize the sentence cannot stand with just the quote. Starting the sentence with the weak, as, did not help the situation either. How much better the sentences would have sounded if the report writer might have written:

      Jackie Mouse stressed in her interview about pledges assuming obligations and asking questions the following point: "The pledges who don't ask questions are the ones who get into problems. You have to make yourself aware of your obligations."

      Positive Statements Make More Impact

      We are so often judged by the words we write. Years ago I listened to some administrative managers in El Paso, Texas, describe how they had to change the words of their employees so the reports going to top management would be acceptable. It got me thinking. How important is the quality of positive words said in a report? We can insult people with words. We can make people mad with words that carry such an emotional impact that our recommendations are not accepted. Our words lie dormant on the page waiting for an explosion because of the negative quality of their wording.

      We don't have to wait for our managers or supervisors to change our wording. Let's take some instances where negative wording may have hurt the report:

      Parents are abusing the Recreation and Parks Program at Canoga Park.

      Comments: Now, perhaps the parents are abusing the program by not picking up the youngsters or not paying their dues for the various programs. Imagine yourself, though, the head of a particular program, and you read this report about possible changes. You bristle because the report writer has used the term, "abusing." Couldn't the report writer become more matter of fact and simply state in the Analysis, "Parents need to pay their dues on time and pick up their youngsters at the appointed time." No one is put on the spot in the report. You simply state the logical conclusions.

      It wouldn't hurt to take another example from a report about the importance of training in a securities firm. The report writer is trying to show how the lack of training is hampering the employees. He writes:

      Employees from the Operations and Sales Department have inadequate knowledge about the securities business and related matters for their clients.

      Comments: Your back goes up as a top manager reading this report. Why? You realize you have given the employees some of the best training in the industry. How dare the report writer insinuate our employees have inadequate knowledge! How much better it would have been if the report writer had phrased the statement a little more positively. The report writer is not wrong to point out that certain kinds of additional training might help the employee. Even if the training as perceived by the report writer needs improvement, the writer could have chosen a word other than "inadequate." The report writer could have written in a more positive vein: "Employees from the Operations and Sales Department need more education in securities clearing-settlements." The word, have, was so passive in the previous example that it simply added to the possible irritation felt by the top manager.

      Suppose you are given an assignment to find out how to improve the interviewing techniques of your fellow managers. You already know applicants are stating information during the interview that later comes home to haunt them. You write in your report the following statement:

      The managers in such-and-such department are guilty of careless interviewing techniques.

      Your immediate boss shows the report to someone from that department guilty of careless interviewing techniques. The explosions start. The memos start flying back and forth. You are guilty of careless wording in trying to explain a recurring problem.

      Comments: The report writer should have taken more time with the first part of the Analysis. Perhaps, the managers are guilty of sloppy interviewing techniques. You can't say that. You have to couch your language with euphemisms and positive sounding words to have your Analysis and Decisions even considered. We could say the following: "Based on my findings and with attention to all departments' concerns, I believe the interviewing techniques used by such-and-such department may need some refining. I understand the applicants are often guilty of expressing ideas that cannot no longer bear fruit after they are employed. Such-and-such department always has the obligation to . . " You presented your Analysis with becoming modesty.

      Words carry an emotional impact. One has to decide how indignant or friendly one wants to be. Remember your purpose in writing the report: you want your Analysis and Decisions (Recommendations) accepted. Your words will help convey that meaning.

      Weasel Words Need to be Avoided

      When you start to write sections of the report, especially the Considerations (Findings), words may confound you. Look out for these weasel words where most of the meaning is sucked out of them:

      most
      some
      several
      many
      majority

      The previous words don't carry much impact. They are usually placed there in the Considerations to fill space. Look at this sentence: Most employees believe a dress code would be appropriate within the firm." How many? What ages or years of experience? Questions remain when you use weasel words in the Considerations.

      People understand majority means over 50 percent or sometimes defined as 50 percent plus one. Therefore, if you insist on using the weasel word, majority, please clarify by placing the number and percentage in parentheses after the word (e.g. majority (17 people, 60 percent).
      
      

      Pagination Always Presents Dilemma

      When report writing students are confronted with the paging of a five-page maximum memo, the immediate question becomes: What do I page? You do not place pages on the executive summary and the transmittal. They are considered prefatory pages before the main body of the body, including the introduction and report proper. You start numbering with the first page of the memo, namely the To, From, Date, and Subject page. Each page then carries through with the usual format: To, Page, and Date. Then, you are confronted with the attachments.
      
      The attachments create their own special problems. Do not number the attachment title pages, but count them. You need to number every attachment, including the surveys, tables, charts, and exhibits. The number has to occur consecutively after the final page of the memo. For example, if you stopped with page 5 of the memo, then your next numbered page for your survey instrument would be page 7. The attachment title page intervened as page 6. When you finish numbering all the attachments in the bottom center or appropriate location, we next need to number the bibliography. The bibliography page(s) also requires its own page number in consecutive order. The last page numbered is the bibliography. If you don't have a bibliography (for some reason), you stop numbering with the last page of the attachments.

      MAKEUP FOR WEEK 13

      You need to take a sheet of paper and look at the following statements. Decide whether each statement or series of statements is Considerations(C), Analysis (A), or Decision(D), or Nothing. Then, tell why in a sentence or so. Go ahead and turn in your work.
      
      

      
      

      For All Classes--Day and Evening

      
      
      1. It has been estimated "two million white-collar jobs" have been cut during recent years.
      2. After further research I feel (please don't use)that 1.0% tip share is the most fair to both the servers and the bar backs (Note: Bar backs have to clean up after the bar is closed for the night.)
      3. The information in Table 1 concurs with the fact that (don't use that phrase)Mullah Mohammed would rather purchase additional land, on which to build a parking lot, than rent out a parking facility.
      4. The results show (find some other word)that all 15 employees surveyed felt (Note: Try not to have two verbs together.)that the store had a nice atmosphere.
      5. After reviewing the seven surveys, I discovered employees experience (maybe have these two words in different order)difficulties with communication management.
      6. Most people are willing to participate at some level, whether actively or passively they are at least involved (Table 2).
      7. Attachment A, Table 1, describes employees' trust of the passed-on information pertaining to the supermarket trend.
      8. After analyzing the data gathered from the 21 surveys, I discovered a trend between the years of experience with Major Discount and the opinion of the current safety training.
      9. Of the 10 people surveyed, no one favors the complete elimination of the position.
      10. By reading the background to my report, one would expect the number of associates regularly making commission to be very low.
      11. Table 2 shows (please do not phrase this way) (Attachment B)the expenses and profits of the restuarant. The restaurant needs at least 10 percent of profits to continue the business.
      12. Employees are also encountering financial difficulties by not keeping up with expenses incurred through raising a family. These are all views employees at ABC University had in common due to shortage of pay increases.
      13. Table 1 represents the opinions of the employees in the National and Accounting areas. The table shows more than half of full-time employees feel (please do not use)that the communication skills of the management are adequate, followed by poor and no opinion.
      14. The results showed seven tenants (35 percent), the largest number, prefer security cameras as a way to improve the parking security.
      15. In other words (please don't say), Table 1 tells us we should spend $50,000 on advertising for the highest rate of return on every dollar spent.
      16. After adding the total rent collection from 10 units, I found overall rent levels are low at 892 Nathan Wood Lane.

          Especially for Day Classes

          
          
      17. In anticipation of large parties nightly, the manager should equip each station with 240 spoons for each course of the Deluxe Feast and 160 spoons for dessert, totaling 400 spoons.
      18. Only eight out of 100 opposed building a smoking patio. More than eight out of ten people favor the idea of building an outside patio.
      19. Table 1, Stockroom Confusion, gives important (careful of characterizing data) data on the ratio of times employees make trips to the stockroom and retrieve shoes for a customer with and without any problems.
      20. Palmcom accounts for over 34 percent of average receivables. Second to Palmcom was Border-State at nearly 26 percent.
      21. The results show that Hans tends to spend the majority of his time on sales planning and account calls (both at 27%), while Raoul spends the majority of his day (43%) on investment analysis and very little time overall on sales planning and sales management (both 9%).

      
      

      Especially for 7-9:45 p.m. Class

      
      Note: The previous sentences of this first item indicate the different questions.
      

      1. Table 1 reports the reactions to the questions asked of students. Figure 1 shows a graphical interpretation of the same data. The numbers on the "questions" line correspond with the previously numbered questions.
      2. These data appear in Table 1 in Attachment B. An automated test system would detect these types of defects before they left the production floor. In fact, an average of 71 percent of the defects would be caught by the new system.
      3. Responses to the question about the number of times beachgoers have observed trash floating or being washed ashore appears in Table 1 on Attachment A.
      4. In 1993, the position of Distributor Coordinator was established to promote distributor sales. Unfortunately, in 1994, the position was eliminated for budgetary reasons.
      5. July through December shows an income averaging between the $3,000 and $5,000 range as an assistant.
      6. Figure 2 (Attachment D) suggests that miscalculations in the date of birth will have a strong impact on the accuracy of each member service employee's ability to perform his or her task.

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      You may find additional material to help you on the home page and the links for memo and memo format as well as other links, such as presentations and tables and charts . Please feel free to use them.

      copyright(c)G. Jay Christensen

      Last updated Thursday, August 24, 2006

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