Department of Communication Disorders and Sciences

 

CD 485 Computer Applications in Communication Disorders

 Augmentative and Alternative Communication

 

 Fall Semester 2016

 

(Residential Section)

 

 

 

Instructor: Edward Hall, Ph.D.

Office:  Monterey Hall, Room 331

Address:  Department of Communication Disorders & Sciences

18111 Nordhoff Street

 Northridge, CA 91330-8279

 Telephone:  818.677.2823

 Email:  ehall@csun.edu

 Office Hours: Tuesday, Thursdays and Fridays 1:00 to 2:30

 

Course Meetings and Credit

Mondays -- 4 to 7 PM, Monterey Hall Room 334; for 3 units.

 

I.       Course Description: CD 485.  Augmentative and Alternative Communication (3)
Prerequisites: CD 405 (or equivalent), 410 (or equivalent), 415 (or equivalent), 442 (or equivalent).  The study of unaided and aided communication systems and modalities to provide augmentative and/or alternative communication habilitation and rehabilitation to communicatively handicapped individuals.  Contemporary microcomputer hardware and software, program development, devices and applications in the fields of Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology are introduced. Library research, using computers and specialized software, and diagnostic and rehabilitative procedures are discussed, along with requirements and methods of clinical documentation. Regular written assignments are required.

 

Knowledge and Skills Analysis (KASA) for Department Majors

For majors in Speech-Language Pathology, this course contributes to:

 

Standard III-C. The Nature of Disorders:

‣ Social Aspects of Communication: (Etiologies and Characteristics)

‣ Communication Modalities: (Etiologies and Characteristics)

 

Standard III-D. Prevention, Assessment and Treatment Methodology: 

‣ Social Aspects of Communication: (Prevention, Assessment & Intervention)

‣ Communication Modalities: (Assessment and Intervention)

 

 Standard IV-B.

‣ Oral and written and other forms of communication

 

For majors in Audiology, this course contributes to:

 

Standard IV-E.

‣  Treatment of Individuals with auditory, balance and related communication  Disorders:  (E8. Recommend, dispense and service prosthetic and assistive devices)

  

 

II.  Student Learning Outcomes (SLOs)

 A. Standard III-C, The Nature of Communication Disorders; & Standard III-D, the Prevention, Assessment and Treatment Methodology in AAC & Standard IV-E::  Professionals must be able to access online databases through library research in order to be successful in the fields of Speech-Language Pathology and Audiology.  Therefore, by the end of this course, students will be able to:

 

1. ACCESSING THE LIBRARY DATABASE ONLINE

 

2. IDENTIFYING THE APPROPRIATE DATABASES FOR BOOKS

 

3. IDENTIFYING THE APPROPRIATE DATABASES SUCH AS JOURNAL ARTICLES THROUGH EBSCOHOST & OTHERS

 

4. IDENTIFYING THE APPROPRIATE DATABASES SUCH AS JOURNAL ARTICLES THROUGH PUBMED, MEDLINE AND COMMUNICATION DISORDERS MULTISEARCH

 

5. Open an account with END NOTE and cite references.  For information on how to do this please go to: 

                        http://library.csun.edu/FindResources/i-Endnoteweb

 

 

B.  Standard III-C, The Nature of Communication Disorders;  Standard III-D, the Prevention, Assessment and Treatment Methodology in AAC & Standard IV-E):  Practitioners must be able to educate clients, families/care-providers, and professionals outside of the fields of speech-language pathology about augmentative and alternative communication.  Therefore, by the end of this course, students will able to: 

 

1. Describe the role of AAC and Communication

 

2. Describe the role of AAC and Modalities (Please note that this discussion must be accessed through Moodle)

 

3. Give a brief Introduction to AAC Devices

 

4. Describe the Need for Assistive Technology in Communication

 

5. List and describe the Issues and Options in AAC Device Selection

 

6. List and describe the Issues and Options in AAC Device Implementation

 

7. List and describe Non Computer AAC Devices and their role in Communication

 

8. List and describe Personal Computers as AAC Devices  and their role in Communication

 

9. List and describe AAC Device Accessories

 

10. List and describe AAC Device Software

 

11. List and describe the Issues and Options of AAC Dedicated Devices

 

12. List and describe Issues involved in getting AAC FUNDING

 

13. Locate AAC Device Resources

 

 

 

C.   Standard III-D. Prevention, Assessment and Treatment Methodology: (Social Aspects of Communication: (Prevention, Assessment & Intervention)-- Standard IV-E Treatment of Individuals with auditory, balance and related communication  Disorders:  (E8. Recommend, dispense and service prosthetic and assistive devices) Practitioners must be able to critically evaluate benefits and limitations of programs utilized by augmentative and/or assistive communication devices.  Therefore, by the end of this course, students will be able to: 

 

1. Evaluating a Computer Teaching Program

 

 

 

D.  Standard IV-B & Standard IV-E. (Oral and written and other forms of communication): By the end of this course, students will be able to develop:

 

 

1.   Developing a Computer Teaching Program  A rehabilitative program for speech and/or language therapy utilizing Power Point or Hyperstudio.

2.   A Speech Generating Device (SGD).

 

 

 

E.    By the end of this course, students will be able to describe the theoretical variables associated with Interactive Video rehabilitation of speech and/or language deficits..

 

 

1. Incorporating Interactive Video in the development of therapy programs

 

 

 

F.    Voice input systems serve varying roles in augmentative and alternative communication, ranging from speech to text, text to speech, and controlling the functions of devices.  Therefore, by the end of this course, students will be able to:

 

1. Discuss the benefits and limitations of voice input systems when incorporated into speech and/or language rehabilitation.

 

 

2. Implement one or more Voice Input Systems  program designed for speech and/or language habilitation or rehabilitation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

III.     Course Requirements and; Grading Bases

 

A.       PRE & POST TESTS (10 points)

1.       The Pre Test is to be taken immediately through Moodle.  You may with to print it out.  (0% of Final course Grade)

2.       The Post Test is to be taken through Moodle by the time of the last class.  It is exactly the same as the Pre Test. (10% of Final Course Grade).  You are allowed to discuss this test among your colleagues.

 

B.  Term Paper (20 points) on Augmentative/Assistive Communication Devices (approximately 3000 words which translates into around ten pages double space). The Topic is to be chosen from one or more of any of the Sub or Sub-sub or Sub-sub-sub Headings in the Class Hypertext. THE PAPER MUST HAVE AT LEAST ONE REFERNCE IN APA FORMAT AT THE END. THIS REFERENCE MUST BE AT LEAST ONE ARTICLE OR A BOOK REFERENCE WHICH IS NOT JUST AN INTERNET SITE. Full Text Articles or Books obtained from the internet are, however, permissible. The paper is to be included as part of the Class Notebook [item 7] described below)  FULL CREDIT yields 20 points toward the final grade.

 

(Hint about writing style:  Dr. Hall has a pathological need to see many headings, sub headings and sub sub headings in a Term Paper. Almost every paragraph should have one! This is a necessity if you want to get FULL CREDIT for your paper, and in doing so also help Dr. Hall from lapsing into his severe thumb sucking habit!) Please note that a hard copy printout of the paper is NOT necessary, as it will be submitted in electronic format as part of the Class Notebook as described below.

 

C.  Class Notebook (an Electronic Portfolio) -- This will be submitted electronically on a CD, DVD or Thumb drive. It should include the following sections (files):

 

1.    A computer generated ID picture with first and last name (5 points full credit): You can use a digital camera or a scanner.  If you have access to neither tell the instructor and he will make arrangements. This picture may include, besides yourself, images of spouses, boy/girl or any friends, pets, and family members, or any inanimate objects, but please be sure to label yourself because family members (and in our house, pets) often resemble each other. Some students have included an array of individual body parts (only those acceptable in church please) as a sample test or exercise of visual closure. But in such cases it is necessary to remember to include the blended answer (i.e., the total picture) somewhere in the portfolio or a name.

 

2.    TWO computer programs developed through Power Point, Hyper Studio or Keynote (MACs) (20 points each credit): Both will have a three card (slide) minimum. The first Program will be designed to teach a cognitive, language, speech, or pragmatic concept.  This program should have pictures, interactive links, feedback, and sound.

 

The second Program will be a very simple Speech Generating Device (SGD). It will also have a minimum of three cards with pictures, links and Speech Sounds. Examples will be given in the Class Lecture and associated Texts.

 

3.    A Case report on Funding an AAC Device (10 points full credit) Given some client information, a Case Report laying the basis for the purchase of an AAC device will be generated and included in the Portfolio. The form for this report will be provided.

 

4.    A Library Search report (i.e., a computer generated bibliography 10 points full credit) on the topic of Augmentative and/or Assistive Devices for Communicatively Handicapped individuals. This list will include the following references in APA format. It IS NOT necessary to include any URLs in the reference, but it IS necessary to indicate for each reference what Database (viz., GEAC or CINAHL or Science Direct etc.) was used to locate it:

 

a.    Please obtain FOUR (4) references for Books on the Topic of Augmentative/Alternative Devices (or similar subject headings)...one from each of the sources listed below.

 

b.   Please obtain TEN (10) references from journals on the Topic of AAC...selected from the list of databases provided below.

 

c.    ONE of the Ten references in (b) above should be a FULL TEXT article. Please include this article in its entirety in your electronic portfolio.

 

You might want to keep in mind that one of your other Herculean tasks, mentioned above, is to write a paper on Augmentative and/or Alternative and/or Assistive Devices for the communicatively disabled individual. Hence, you might find some useful references in this project that you could also use for your term paper. I should also tell you that the list of journals provided below could BE MODIFIED as we progress into the semester.  If you have already started or completed the work, however, the old list will still be valid-- STAY TUNED!

 

DATABASES FOR REFERENCESEARCH

 

a.     FOUR (4) Book references...one from each those listed below:

 

1. Oviatt Library Catalog CSUN University Library Catalog indexes books, periodicals, media and other materials held by the Oviatt Library.(GEAC)

2. Cal State Union Catalog Catalog now called Collections of the California State University Libraries Collections of the California State University Libraries.

3. WorldCat This links into a CSUN subscription database which offers Find text for ease in ordering books we do NOT own using Find Text menu link to Interlibrary Loan

4. GOOGLE BOOK SEARCH

 

 

b.    TEN (10) journal article references in APA format to be selected from those listed below. One must be a FULL TEXT article and should be included in its entirety in the electronic portfolio.  Please choose ten from the following 19 databases:

1.           PubMed Offers Medline (currently indexing over 5,000 journals), several molecular biology and chemical databases. Some full text journals and books, 1950-

2.           CINAHL Plus with Full Text (EBSCO) Indexes over 3,000 nursing and allied health journals, with cited references from 1,600 journals; provides full-text access to many journals and other sources, 1937-

3.           ERIC (CSA) Abstracts 775 education journals, ED reports, 1966-

4.           ArticleFirst (OCLC) Index of articles from the contents pages of over 22,000 journals, 1990-

5.           Linguistics and Language Behavior Abstracts (LLBA) Abstracts over 1,500 serials in language studies and linguistics. 1973-

6.           PsycINFO (EBSCO) Indexes over 2,000 journals plus books and book chapters, 1987-present.

7.           InfoTrac OneFile (Thomson Gale)

8.           Indexes over 9,700 journals with full text to over 5,000 journals, 1980-

9.           Academic Search Elite (EBSCO) Abstracts to 3,000 journals (over 1,500 peer-reviewed journals), with full text to more than 2,000 of the journals. Dates may vary, most from 1985-

10.     InfoTrac OneFile (Thomson Gale) Indexes over 9,700 journals with full text to over 5,000 journals, 1980-

11.     Wilson OmniFile Full Text Mega Cross-searching of Education Index with Full Text, General Science Index with Full Text, Humanities Abstracts with Full Text, Readers' Guide Retrospective and Readers' Guide Full Text, Social Sciences Index with Full Text, Business Index with Full Text, Applied Science & Technology Full Text, Art Full Text, Biological & Agricultural Index Plus, Index to Legal Periodicals Full Text, Library Literature & Information Science Full Text.

12.     INSPEC (Engineering Village) Abstracts 5,000 journals and conference proceedings in physics, electronics, computing, control engineering and information technology, 1969-

13.     Cochrane Library (Wiley) Several evidence based medical databases, with protocols, controlled trials, and full-text reviews.

14.     Communication & Mass Media (EBSCO) Abstracts over 600 journals in communication studies, speech, mass media, journalism, linguistics, and communicative disorders. Full text for more than 240 journals. Dates vary, 1915-

15.     ScienceDirect (Elsevier) Index with abstracts to over 1,700 scientific journals published by Elsevier; with full-text access to over 1,400 journals.

16.     Wiley Interscience Access to over 300 full-text journals published by J. Wiley, 1993-

17.     LexisNexis Academic Full text news, medical, legal & business sources. Dates vary.

18.     SciSearch (DIALOG) Cited reference science database indexing more than 6,000 journals, 1974-

19.     NetLibrary Provides access to thousands of electronic books that have been converted into electronic format from copyrighted, printed books.

 

 

(OK, there are more than 10 above but you only need to select 10.  (In your report, please be sure to include for each reference, the name of the database above that you used to find the Book or Journal along with the reference. Some of the above databases may have passed away and may be no longer be in use.  If so pass them by. If they purport to require a fee, pass those by too. If you find a reference that is from a different Database than those listed above, good for you.  Feel free to include that one too.)

 

 

5.   Review, analysis & report on ONE commercial computer rehabilitative program (5 points Full Credit): This program does not have to be directly linked with Communication Disorders. Any computer program that TEACHES something will do. There is a check-off list for this evaluation provided under the link for this goal above but please include your own overview and evaluation in the COMMENT Section. Review, analysis & report on ONE commercial computer rehabilitative program (5 points Full Credit): (Standard III-D)--This program does not have to be directly linked with Communication Disorders. Any computer program that TEACHES something will do. There are now an abundance of APPs (many of which are free demos) and other teaching programs online. A check-off list for this evaluation is provided under the link for this goal above but {see HyperLink within SLO-C}, please include your own overview and evaluation of the program in the COMMENT Section

 

 

6. TWENTY-QUESTIONS Twice and Then Some (25 points Full Credit)   

     (Standard III-C, Standard III-D & Standard IV-B & Standard IV-E):

 

    The First Set of 20 multiple choice questions and answers will be generated from the Class Electronic Textbook: TWO will be made up from the Introduction, and SIX from each of the three Sections of the Class Text. The questions will all be in a multiple choice format with five options (a thru e), with the one intended answer indicated by an * or some other means. 

 

The Second Set of 20 multiple choice questions and answers will be generated from the Class Lectures--ONE QUESTION MINIMUM FOR EACH LECTURE starting with the first lecture. {NOTE:  Because there are around 15 classes in the semester, it will be necessary to include TWO questions for some classes.} For Full Credit, ALL of the classes must be covered with at least one question, and that for each question you note the date of the question.

 

The And Some:This is the one assignment that will be submitted in hard copy (i.e., it will not be included in the electronic Portfolio). AT THE END OF EACH CLASS MEETING (i.e. not halfway through) the question will be submitted as you escape (leave) for the day. Be sure to include along with the Question, the answer and, your name and the date.

 

 

 

7. Four Electronic Test Completion Certificates from the Class HyperTextbook (40 points Full Credit). (Standard III-C, Standard III-D & Standard IV-B & Standard IV-E):

 

  Four Certificates verifying successful completion of the Tests at the end of each of the four HyperText Sections will be printed out and submitted in the electronic portfolio. These certificates will be generated by the HyperText after the successful completion of each Test, and can be printed by using the Print Screen Key on a PC or Shift-Apple-3 on the MAC, and copied to a Word Processor file, which can then be included in the electronic Portfolio.

 

8. Term Paper of approximately ten pages (3000 words) on augmentative/assistive communication devices as described above (remember, this is 20 points Full Credit). (Standard III-C, Standard III-D & Standard IV-B & Standard IV-E)  (see "A" above)

 

C. CLASS ATTENDANCE (for Each ENTIRE (!!!) class period) is a BIG issue in this class. Although some sessions will be painfully boring because I am teaching them, there is some important background information that ASHA wants you to be exposed to (kind of like a Small Pox vaccination). In addition, ON THOSE DAYS THAT WE HAVE GUEST SPEAKERS IT IS EVEN A BIGGER ISSUE!!! Many of these speakers have come from a far distance after a full days work (viz., San Diego or Lancaster etc.) and it is a pathetic if not catastrophic reflection on us, if by the end of our class, the only people left are me, (the instructor), the presenter(s) and two or three (A-Level) students!!! Miss a class or cut out early and you not only will be responsible for creating a severe thumb sucking attack for Dr. Hall for a week, but in addition a two hour catatonic episode in which Dr. Hall will assume the prenatal position on the front desk in the classroom. Of course, any student, however, male or female, who just happens to be pregnant and has been in labor for an hour or more will be excused for the last half of the class when the ambulance arrives. Please keep in mind that more than three absences without a valid excuse will rule out the possibility of receiving a final course grade of A regardless of the other grading factors. Five absences will rule out the possibility of receiving a final course grade of B. For more than five absences a valid death certificate will be required to get more than a D.

 

 

V.  Grading Criteria for the Final Exam:

             120 points or above = a Final Course Grade of A

             80 points or above = a Final Course Grade of B

             40 points or above = a Final Course Grade of C

             20 points or above = a Final Course Grade of D

    10 points or above = a Final Course Grade of F (i.e. brain dead and hence,                  qualified to teach CD 485).

 

             Please note that any assignments that are NOT TURNED IN, will reduce the total score by one letter grade each.

 

             Please note also, that the Attendance issue will be an overriding factor to the accumulated points as described above in determining the Final Course Grade.

 

V.  Class Text

 

A.  Required: The Class Text--WHEN THE TALKING STOPS--IT'S TIME FOR ACTION - Assistive Communication Technology: Issues, Options and Needs, Nordhoff Orange Press: CSUN, 2010--Price $150 for the limited Hard Copy edition (with an autographed picture of the author on each page) available through Dr. Hall.

 

B.  Required: A Text Tutorial on Developing Therapy Programs Using Power Point --THE POINT OF POWER THERAPY : A --Price $70 (No pictures of the Author Available).

 

C.  SPECIAL PACKAGE DEAL for CSUN CD 485: Students in this class only may Purchase both Texts together for a single Price of only $269.00

 

D. (Warning this Addendum may self erase after you read it„Please do not be alarmed)...for those very few students who, as incredible as it may seem, feel they can function without those Texts that have hard covers and the autographed picture of the author and his family on each page, both Texts are available in electronic format to be copied for FREE from Dr. Hall. Just bring a memory Thumb Drive before, during or after class; or you can open them up in the CD 485 Moodle Site. As a consolation for not being able to get the autographed hard cover Text with the authors photo on each page, there is in this free electronic version of the HyperText (if you can find it) a complete 20 picture history taken from the TV Series, You Call this a Life, portraying Dr. Halls life from Birth to Senescence (i.e., as he is today, a Senior Professor at CSUN), describing through vivid and somewhat candid photos how he became what he is today. Be forewarned, however, that some of these pictures may be graphic and can result in nausea and intestinal discomfort). 

        

VI.  Class Schedule CD 485, Fall 2011 (This class schedule will not be totally accurate because it is so unpredictable due to changing schedules of the AAC Vendors that we traditionally invite to visit our class, campus riots and random snow storms in Northridge.)  But here is what it looks like right now:

 

Aug. 29th  Session 1. -- Introduction to the CD 485 Class, its goals and requirements.

 

 

Recognizing the role of AAC and Communication

Giving a brief Introduction to AAC Devices

 

End of Class:  Turn in MC question-- Standard III-C. The Nature of Disorders:

 

( Social Aspects of Communication: (Etiologies and Characteristics)

 

 

Sept. 12th  Session 2. -- .  Dr. Hall will discuss the Communication and the role of AAC

 

 

Describing the role of Assistive Technology

End of Class:  Turn in 1 MC question

SUGGESTED This Week:--

Establish an Account for End Note in Library

 

 

 

Sept. 19th  Session 3.  -- Computer Access to the Library, Part (1):  Class will be held in the Oviatt Library Computer Lab C.

 

 

LIBRARY SESSION (A)—CLASS MEETS IN OVIATT LIBRARY LAB C.

End of Class:  Turn jn 1 MC question

SUGGESTED Start Research for Reference list on AAC

 

 

 

Sept. 26th   Session 4. --- LIBRARY SESSION (2)—CLASS MEETS IN OVIATT LIBRARY LAB C. 

READING: Section I of Hypertext

 

Describing the role of AAC in Communication

 

End of Class:  End of Class:  Turn in MC question-- --

Standard III-C. The Nature of Disorders:

 

SUGGESTED DOWN LOAD AAC HYPERTEXT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

OCT. 3RD     Session 5-- Dr. Hall will discuss the role of MODALITIES IN AAC

READING: Section II Hypertext

Due:

Describing the role of Modalities in AAC.

End of Class:  End of Class:  Turn in MC question--

SUGGESTED This Week:  Completion of HyterText Certificate #1-- Standard III-D. Prevention, Assessment and Treatment Meth:

 

 

 

 

Oct. 10TH   Session 6– Issues, Options and Needs in AAC

Reading:  Power Point Tutorial

Due:

Listing and describing the Issues in AAC Device Development

End of Class:  MC question

Completion of HyterText Certificate #2--  Standard IV-B.

‣ Oral and written and other forms of communication SUGGESTED Download Power Point Tutorial

 

Oct. 17th  Session 7-- AAC and Modalities

Reading: Section III Hypertext

Due:

Describing Non Computer AAC Devices  and their role in Communication

Describing Personal Computers as AAC Devices  and their role in Communication

End of Class:  MC question

 

Oct. 24th  Session 8-- AAC Issues, Options and Needs

Reading:

Due:

Incorporating Voice Input Systems  in the development of therapy programs

End of Class:  MC question

SUGGESTED This Week:  Completion of HyterText Certificate #3

 

Oct. 31ST   Session 9-- Fast Forward

Reading: Section IV Hypertext

Due:

Listing and describing AAC Device Software

End of Class:  MC question

SUGGESTED This Week:  Completion of PPT program

 

Nov. 7th   Session 10-- Prentke Romich

Reading:

Due:

Listing and describing Issues and use of AAC Dedicated Devices

End of Class MC question Completion of HyterText Certificate #4 of Class:  MC question

 

Nov. 14th   Session 11-- Dynavox

Reading: 

Due:  PPT Therapy Probram

Listing and describing AAC Device Accessories

End of Class:  MC question

 

 

Nov. 21th   Session 12—Lingraphica 

Reading:

Due:

 

 

 

Nov. 28th    Session 13– Saltilo & Development of no-tech, low-tech, and high-tech Devices. 

Reading:

Due:

Developing  Computer Based Power Point Therapy & AAC Programs

End of Class:  MC question

SUGGESTED This Week:  Completion SGD

 

Dec. 5th   Session 14–AAC Report writing and Funding

Reading:

Due:

Listing and describing Issues involved in getting AAC FUNDING

Listing AAC Device Resources

 

The relation of Butterflies and Bells to AAC-- Standard III-C. The Nature of Disorders

Standard III-D. The Nature of Disorders

Standard IV-B. The Nature of Disorders

End of Class:  MC question

SUGGESTED This Week:  Completion SGD

 

 

 

Dec. 19th    Session 14-- Saltilo

DESIGNATED DOOMS DAY DUE DATE DEADLINE FOR ALL CLASS ASSIGNMENTS TO BE TURNED IN!!

End of Class:  Completion 20-MC Lecture questions

Term Paper completed

Electronic Notebook/portfolio

Online Final Exam

 

 

 

MERRY CHRISTMAS

HAPPY AND SAFE NEW YEAR

 

 

Special Needs

 

Requests for accommodation in test taking or other special needs must be made to the instructor by the second class meeting (or during the first week of the session, for on-line students). Students who are authorized the assistance of sign language interpretation or who are receiving real time captioning, are permitted preferential seating in class (if this becomes applicable).

 

Academic Honesty

 

Every member of the academic community at California State University Northridge is expected to act with honesty and trustworthiness. In this course and all other, acts of cheating, not covered by Collaborative Learning as applied in this class, plagiarism, misrepresentation, or other forms of dishonesty are not tolerated. Student academic dishonesty will result in penalties ranging from a failing grade on an assignment or examination, to a failing grade in the course, to referral to the Office of Student Affairs for a determination of suspension or dismissal from the University, as described in the University Catalog; or worse yet, assignment to be one of Dr. Halls Graduate Assistants for a semester!! Of course in this class you can forget about most of this since I want you all to work together. Plagiarism, of course, will be frowned upon.

 

 

 

The URL for this Class Outline is: 

 

http://www.csun.edu/~vcoao0el/CD%20485%20Syllabus%20for%20Fall%202016.html 

 

Computer Update for Jewish Students

 

A company in Israel has developed a kosher computer, called a DELLSHALOM.

 

If you or a friend are considering a kosher computer, you should know that there were some important upgrades and changes from what you may be used to, such as:

 

* The cursor moves from right to left.

 

* It comes with two hard drives, one for fleyshedik business software and one for milchedik games.

 

* Instead of getting a "General Protection Fault" error, your PC now gets "Ferklempt."

 

* The Chanukah screen savers include "Flying Dreidels".

 

* The PC also shuts down automatically at sundown on Friday evenings.

 

* After the computer dies, you have to dispose of it within 24 hours.

 

* The "Start" button has been replaced with a "Let's go! I'm not getting any younger!" button.

 

* When disconnecting external devices from the back of your PC, you are instructed to "Remove the cable from the PC 'stuchus".

 

* The multimedia player has been renamed to "Nu, so play my music already!"

 

* Internet Explorer has a spinning "Star of David" in the upper right corner.

 

* You hear "Hava Nagila" during startup.

 

* Microsoft Office now includes "A little byte of this, and a little byte of that."

 

* When running "scandisk," it prompts with a "You want I should fix this?" message.

 

* When your PC is working too hard, you occasionally hear a loud "Oy Gevalt!"

 

* There is a "monitor cleaning solution "from Manischewitz that advertises that it gets rid of the "schmutz unddrek" on your monitor.

 

* After 20 minutes of no activity, my PC goes "Schloffen."

 

* Computer viruses can now be cured with some matzoball chicken soup.

 

* The Y2K problem has been replaced by "Year5760-5761" issues.

 

* If you decide not to shut down the computer in the prescribed manner the following message appears "You should be ashamed of yourself"

 

* When Spellcheck finds and error it prompts "Is this the best you can do?"

 

 

 

And so it goes...

 

 

 

Computer Update for NON Jewish Students

 

From a Dr.Seuss Computer Manual

 

Here's an easy game to play.

Here's an easy thing to say.

 

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket pocket has an error to report!

 

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icons puts your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash

Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

 

You can't say this?

What a shame sir!

We'll find you

Another game sir.

 

If the label on the cable on the table at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,

That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

 

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a sosuse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

 

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risk,

 

 

Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,

Quickly turn the computer off and be sure to tell your mom!

 

------------------------------------------

 

Thank you for your patience and have a nice Semester, or in the case of most CD Students, at least try to survive it!!!