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Just
for Fun
Suppose Edgar Allan Poe
Had Used A Computer...(word
version) (anonymous)
>Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
>System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
>Longing for the warmth of bed sheets,
>
Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
>
Having reached the bottom line,
>
I took a floppy from the drawer.
>
Typing with steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command
>
But got instead a reprimand: it read, "Abort, Retry, Ignore"
>
>
Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
>
These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
>
Carefully, I weighed the options.
>
These three seemed to be the top ones.
>
Clearly, I must now adopt one:
>
Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore...
>
>
With my fingers pale and trembling
>
Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
>
Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
>
Praying for some guarantee
>
Finally I pressed a key--
>
But on the screen what did I see?
>
Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore"
>
>
I tried to catch the chips off-guard--
>
I pressed again, but twice as hard
>
Luck was just not in the cards.
>
I saw what I had seen before.
>
Now I typed in desperation
>
Still there came the incantation:
>
Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore.
>
>
There I sat, distraught, exhausted by my own machine accosted
>
Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
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And then I saw an awful sight:
>
A bold and blinding flash of light--
>
>
A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my core
>
I saw the screen collapse and die: No No, my database I cried
>
I thought I heard a voice reply,
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"You'll see your data NEVERMORE!"
>
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To this day I do not know
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The place where lost data goes
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I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored.
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But as for productivity, well
>
I fear that it goes straight to hell
>
And that's the tale I have to tell
>
Your Choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore
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