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Suppose Edgar Allan Poe Had Used A Computer...(word version) (anonymous)
>Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,
>System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor,
>Longing for the warmth of bed sheets,
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Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets:
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Having reached the bottom line,
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I took a floppy from the drawer.
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Typing with steady hand, I then invoked the SAVE command
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But got instead a reprimand: it read, "Abort, Retry, Ignore"
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Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?
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These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.
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Carefully, I weighed the options.
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These three seemed to be the top ones.
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Clearly, I must now adopt one:
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Choose Abort, Retry, Ignore...
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With my fingers pale and trembling
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Slowly toward the keyboard bending,
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Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,
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Praying for some guarantee
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Finally I pressed a key--
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But on the screen what did I see?
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Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore"
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I tried to catch the chips off-guard--
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I pressed again, but twice as hard
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Luck was just not in the cards.
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I saw what I had seen before.
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Now I typed in desperation
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Still there came the incantation:
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Choose: Abort, Retry, Ignore.
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There I sat, distraught, exhausted by my own machine accosted
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Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.
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And then I saw an awful sight:
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A bold and blinding flash of light--
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A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my core
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I saw the screen collapse and die: No No, my database I cried
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I thought I heard a voice reply,
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"You'll see your data NEVERMORE!"
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To this day I do not know
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The place where lost data goes
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I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored.
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But as for productivity, well
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I fear that it goes straight to hell
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And that's the tale I have to tell
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Your Choice: Abort, Retry, Ignore