Full Name: Joshua Brandon Hammer
My parents named me thus, a few weeks after my birth; not to say the first weeks of my life I was without an identity, but as my parents were young and still unmarried, I had been given my mother’s current last name, Boyd. However so as not to estrange me from my father in possible unforeseen events, my parents decided to bestow my father’s last name to me. In regards to my first two names Joshua and Brandon were chosen for their meanings, in reference to the Christian faith. Joshua, the Hebrew leader of the Israelites, signifies that “Jehovah saves;” simply translated as God saves. As for Brandon, another spelling of Brandan, the symbolic value according to my parents, lies in the meaning “a beacon on a hill.” On the contrary, in Gaelic Brandon stands in contrast to Brandan, representing a “broom, gorse [or] fiery, hill [or] sword.” In spite of this discrepancy, the symbolic value attributed by my parents matters most to me.
Throughout childhood, I fell victim to the sickeningly sweet Joshy, an aberration only allowed to my mother, currently.The abridged name Josh, more often than not, was ascribed to me; friends and family remain doing so today. Notwithstanding, all the while, my grandparents emphasized the power produced in oration of my name; hence, a day would come when the strength of my name corresponded with the fulfilled destiny of the powerful and influential man: me. They based their belief on such conviction, as one speaking of Truth; meanwhile, I strove to take pride in my name, accepting this belief as my Truth.
Many years have passed since those days of childhood, and consequently leaps and bounds have been made towards becoming that man they foresaw. Unfortunately, my real found honor in the name and destiny I was granted, only recently gained a foothold. In youth, Joshua seemed too formal for arenas such as school and church. Furthermore being too personal for public disclosure, Brandon could only be imparted to a close, select few.
Hiding these names led to many obscure nicknames such as Priest, Stalin, Hammer “from da street,” etc. The two preceding names remain the dearest to me, for the manner in which the chummy person attributed them to me. Scott Douglas, a timeless companion of mine, tagged me with both Priest and Stalin, based on actions derived from my beliefs. On the National Day of Prayer, Scott witnessed me engaged in a prayer circle, around the public high school’s flagpole, as hundreds of students swarmed past with skeptical looks. Struggling to understand why a freshman, his friend no less, would want to commit social suicide, he remained shell-shocked for several hours.
Still unbeknownst to me, Scott arrived at a rescue plan to save his foolish friend. In good humor, Scott convinced people to view me as the spiritual benefactor of the school; accordingly, their respects could be paid be referring to me as Priest (paraphrased recount of his later explanation). In a wildfire fashion, the nickname spread without control; people I hardly knew addressed me as such, before Scott had explained his plan to me! Thoroughly agape with embarrassment, only Scott’s account of the absurd plan to maintain my social repertoire, alleviated the initial hurt I felt. Inarguably, at that time Scott kept the social network of that school in his pocket.
Not as widely used due to the triviality of the situation, Stalin was beget of personal communistic beliefs and anti-United States sentiments revealed once in our senior math class. Although Stalin was no doubt a villain, the honest warmth in which it was endeared, still occasions a smile in the happenstance of seeing old friends.
The feelings of joy and pride I currently maintain in my real name, explain its use for most circumstances. Although these feelings are real, I aim to utilize pseudonyms to separate different areas of my exploration, I.e. art and literature. One such pseudonym, “souveniorsyouneverlose,” claims to credit of my artwork and recent Internet screen names. “Souveniorsyouneverlose” refers to scars: the reminders of arduous events that remain with you. Having amassed many physical, emotional and mental souvenirs, I find honor in the experience, and common ground for connections with those in hard times. For I seek that destined power radiating from my name, not only as the future Joshua Brandon Hammer Ph.D., but also that which is masked behind other special names. All in the effort to gain influence in uniting the world around. My desire lies in being heroic, but not a hero; influential, but not famous.
FKA A Name is EVERYTHING
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Background is stolen art from website in which a man's words are prescribed