Some of the most important information we can receive from others is feedback related to our behavior. Feedback can provide learning opportunities for each of us if we can use the observations and reactions of others to become more aware of the consequences of our behavior. Personal feedback can help us become more aware of what we do, how we do it, and how it affects others - which can help us modify behaviors and become more effective in our interactions with others. Giving and receiving feedback requires courage, skill, understanding, and respect for self and others.

Feedback is only useful to the extent that it promotes individual and/or organizational actions directed toward change and problem solving. The ability of feedback to serve such energizing functions depends on both the content of the feedback and the process by which the information is fed back.

You will be more effective in giving feedback when you:

1. Are specific, rather than general
2. Deal with descriptions of observed behavior of the receiver, rather than inferences, attributions, or evaluations (and focus the descriptions in terms of "more or less" rather than "either-or")
3. Report your reactions and the impact on you, rather than labeling the characteristic or attributing intentions of the receiver
4. "Own" the feedback, rather than attribute it to a third party (e.g., use "I statements")
5. Speak directly with the person for whom your feedback is intended
6. Are timely in dealing promptly with current or recent behaviors, rather than delaying
7. Deal only with behavior that the receiver can change
8. Provide feedback in moderation - limit your feedback to important points and an amount that the receiver can realistically process at one time, rather than "dumping everything" in one sitting
9. Provide feedback that is verifiable (e.g., include specific examples) to allow the receiver to verify whether the feedback data accurately represent events and behaviors
10. Provide feedback to someone who is at least somewhat willing to receive it, rather than trying to impose it
11. Share ideas and information, possibly help the receiver explore alternatives - rather than give advice or solutions
12. Acknowledge the receiver's freedom of choice about making changes, rather than pressure her/him to accept the feedback and change
13. Present the feedback as unfinalized - to stimulate further thinking and actions by the receiver (e.g., checking out the feedback with others)
14. Check to make sure the receiver understands your message in the way you intend it. Use an effective communication process, as suggested in the module on Elements of Reliable Communication , that checks for understanding by the receiver
15. Your intention is to be helpful, rather than to correct, belittle, punish, etc.

Some effective openers for giving interpersonal feedback are:

• "Something is bothering me. May I share it with you?"
• "May I give you some feedback about...?"
• "I would like to talk with you about something important in our relationship; is it OK to talk now? (or can we set a time to talk?)"

One useful form for giving feedback is:

• When you ________, I felt ________, because ________

Some suggestions when receiving feedback:

• When you ask for feedback, be specific in describing the behavior and/or situation about which you want the feedback
• Try to hear, inquire, and understand the feedback you receive - and resist the natural tendency to explain or rationalize the behavior at issue
• Summarize your understanding of the feedback you receive and verify that you understood what the other person meant
• Share your thoughts and feelings about the feedback

Emotional reactions to feedback are important:

• The type and intensity of feelings about feedback are related to many things, including how important the person giving the feedback is to us.
• Feelings are "facts" to the person who has them. In a feedback situation, feelings need to be brought to the surface and made discussible. All parties need to understand the feelings of others and be able to talk about them and work with them.
• It is helpful to sustain the discussion long enough for individuals (especially the person receiving feedback) to ask for more information, reflect, surface feelings, and (possibly) to develop alternatives and consider a decision to change.

At the level of organizational unit performance data, feedback is more helpful if it is reported:

• Directly to the manager or team who can take corrective action, in contrast to top management or a staff department
• Frequently enough to allow the manager or team to plan and take corrective actions
• With enough concrete, specific information to allow the manager or team to easily identify the problem areas (this will usually mean that the manager or team will need to be involved in designing the reporting system)

Feedback from attitude and climate surveys tends to be more useful when:

• It is sought by the leader and the unit involved
• Unit data and aggregate organizational data are reported to each respective manager, but managers do not receive data specific to other units (direct comparisons with peer units tend to be highly threatening, at least initially)
• Managers plus their subordinates discuss the data and implications, make action plans, and act (with the help of a third party until they become competent in doing it themselves)